Labor Of Love ~ Between Sisters

My sweet 'baby' sister (Beth) ABIGAIL ELIZABETH soon to be Dews (on Nov. 15th 2008)

was in long hard labor from 6:00 am to 3:00p.m

With Daddy, Grandma & I close to her side. She worked so very hard to have Moriah naturally but to no avail at 3:00 p.m the room quickly filled with medical personnel & alarms started sounding as they place an oxygen mask on Beth, one nurse looked at me & said the baby's heart rate has dropped very low - we need to get a doctor in here.

Tony was as nervous as any dad would be and mom & I just worried. I stayed very brave for Beth & told her everything would be okay. We squeezed each others hand tight and she looked at me and said, "okay I believe you"!

The anesthesiologist came in and Tony & mom stepped out. Beth sat up and held on to me, we held each other tight and I talked her through the process along with the doctor.

The doctor explained that Moriah's heart beat had come up but that mom was in need of some oxygen for a bit longer -

Finally after all the paper signing and preparations Beth & I walked into the O.R . I held my baby sisters hand and within minutes watched her become a mommy for the first time in her life!!!!

I was able to walk through this labor of love with my sister - what a treasure!!! Moments I shall forever treasure!!

***I actually did really well - it had to be all the prayers*** MUCHAS GRACIAS!!(thank you)

I missed my sweet baby boy when I was holding her and when I cut the cord, though and I whispered into Moriah's ear, telling her she has a cousin in heaven!!

My sweet Cindy was there as soon as I came out from leaving Tony in the nursery!! (IT WAS SO SPECIAL TO SHARE A TIGHT & LOVING HUG WITH MY BEST FRIEND)along with all our Family!!!

(the boys took some pictures but I only have what Cindy send me from her phone :~)

READY TO MEET MY NIECE/god-daughter?

MORIAH NISSI DEWS

8 lbs 10 oz. & 20 in. Long!!

with nino & nina (us)

IN MOMMYS ARMS

DADDYS GIRL!!!

BABY MORIAH... almost here!!! UPDATE

Beth is almost two weeks over due. The doctors told her that baby Moriah is 8 pounds 10 ounces (that was on Monday)

They have decided that she will most likely have to have a c-section. Today or tomorrow.

Beth has asked me to please go into the operating room with her. I am glad but nervous.
Beth & I are so very close, so I am not surprised that she would want me to be there for her.

I'm just nervous - Please pray for me!!!

Steve & I are Moriah's god-parents - She had chosen us as soon as she found out she was pregnant - but when we found out about Elijah it just became a deeper different feeling.

Steve & I don't know how exactly we are going to react... ...

PLEASE pray for our hearts & emotions

I will update later as to my little god-daughters bid debut!!!
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U P D A T E*** U P D A T E*** U P D A T E*** U P D A T E*** U P D A T E***

Moriah will probably be born tomorrow!!! Beth just got out of doctors appointment, doctor said they will start induction tomorrow morning @ 6:00 a.m
PLEASE PRAY FOR MY SWEET BETH!!

BE STILL

Since Josiah has been out of school. I have been doing pre-school home schooling. (I have several units complete in Child Development, I was going to college when I became pregnant with Elijah).

I don't want him to fall behind on his colors & shapes and stuff like that. I figured if I am home with him I better be a good steward of my time with him at home.

We have been having a lot of fun. We took our first trip to the library and work on colors & shapes & bible verse & stories everyday.

He calls it "MOMMY SCHOOLY"

Last week the theme was Listening skills and his verse was
"BE STILL AND KNOW THAT I AM GOD"

We read our bibles and I told him the story of Moses & the burning bush (emphasizing on Moses listening to God's voice)

We played a stop, look & listen game & made sock puppets.

This morning I was tending to Steve's bandaged foot/leg & trying to get b-fast done and clean up the house. I was feeling horribly anxious. I began to cry when Josiah went out to play.
I was very frustrated & worried and anxious about our finances & about my job interview.
BUT... I was not crying out to the Lord I was just crying in frustration - on my own strength or the lack there of.

I was spot treating the carpet in the living room(no longer crying) just concentrating hard on what I was doing. Steve was in our room with the door shut. I felt a little tap on my shoulder. I looked up at Josiah and he smiled at me and said, "mamember, mommy? mamember!
~BE STILL AH KNOW I AM GOD~ remember okay STOP ! LOOK ! LISTEN !
GOD say - be still - mamember mommy!"
I smiled and hugged him and said, "YES baby I remember!"
He ran out onto the porch and started playing.

I felt the presence of the Lord touch me in a gentle manner - not harsh, not scolding and not really any specific words. I just felt His presence.
I finally began to talk with the Lord and I began to just basque in HIS PRESENCE.

I choose to listen to the voice of God, the voice of Truth!

I will not be shaken! We are teaching our son & daughter to trust God! I must choose to do the same! Even when things around me look uncertain.
I will not fear for He is with me and promises to restore my soul, to lead me to green pastures, to take me to streams of refreshing!!!

We are certain that God has us in the palm of His hand and He will supply our EVERY NEED!
WE CHOSE TO WORSHIP HIM THROUGH THE LIFE & DEATH OF ELIJAH.

WE want for God to receive all Glory & Honor ~ we want to make a difference in someones life by the way we live and the way we react to diverse situations around us.

BLESSED BE THE NAME, HE GIVES & TAKES AWAY!!
OUR HEARTS WILL CHOOSE TO SAY BLESSED BE YOUR NAME!!!!
*like Josiah said, I need to remember to be still*

our cheer leader

FRIDAY AFTER SCHOOL ~KAYLA IN HER CHEER OUTFIT!!!

We had a great weekend. Went to a high school football game. Maddy came to spend the night and then Saturday we went to a free pumpkin patch. We borrowed Kito Ben's camera & took lots of great pic's - I'm waiting for him to send them to my computer.

Beth is in Labor :( poor thing she is so brave!
Looks like it might be tonight or tomorrow. Contractions are very steady but her cervix not doing anything. She is already 1 1/2 weeks over due. This mornings stress test was normal & Dr. told her they will do c-section on Wednesday or Thursday. From the looks on her face when she's contracting I don't know if she will make it past tonight, well if she does I will be very surprised.

Steve had a surgery on his foot this morning. He had been having pain and come to find out his foot & leg were very infected. (keeps raining) His supervisor noticed he was limping and sent him to the doctor.
He has to be off for two days. PRAY HE GETS BETTER QUICK!!!

I have an interview tomorrow - Josiah spot at school is no longer being held. Not sure what will happen there if I get this job, but I'm trusting in the Lord. He shall supply all our needs. I just gotta keep trusting.

When my nephew gets the pic's to us from this weekend I will post them :)

I have been feeling a lot of different things - some good, & mostly feelings of numbness or feelings of "I DON'T KNOW"

A WARM GLOW

Tonight as Steve, Josiah & I walked into church; I noticed a candle was glowing, next to it a 5x7 picture of our Pastors, Ben & Minn, Holding Elijah during his dedication prayer - at my hospital bedside at 5:00a.m. July 9th.

I was somewhat surprised. I knew mom was gonna take a candle[I thought she was gonna put it at her table]. Mom wasn't even there yet. As time got closer to starting bible study church began to fill. I noticed another and then another and another lady taking a candle up to the front and lighting it.

At exactly 7:00 p.m the table was all a glow. Cindy walked up to me and hugged me so tight and said, "I called all the ladies, to bring a candle & remember Elijah"

*Cindy - you did it again :) love ya friend*

I kept wishing I could have gotten a picture, of how serene the table looked.

*funny thing*
(THE NOT SO GOOD THING WAS... everyone brought scented candles [various different scents] OH MAN WERE THE ALLERGIES KICKEN TONIGHT!!!

Thanks Momma for the card!! It was so precious!!

{ALL OF YOU WHO LIT A CANDLE, I THANK YOU & FOR COMMENTING TOO)

2nd Post 4 2day: (National Rememberance Day)

Please help us honor the memories we cherish so dear I know I am asking for a lot but PLEASE could you ALL leave a signature(comment); even if it's anonymous, just with your location(State or Country) so we can see where the candles will be burning from?!?! Pass this blog post to as many people as you can. The more people who read this the bigger the flame that will glow across our countries for our ~little sweet ones~

I WANT THE WHOLE WORLD TO KNOW ; WE ARE WAVING A CANDLE FOR OUR
ELIJAH NATHANIEL & HIS ~FRIENDS~

** so please pass our blog http://elijahnathanieldouglas.blogspot.com/ to everyone you know **

Thanks to Erika(on my side bar for posting on her blog)

*Melissa I forgot how you told me to do that link thing*

MAKE A JOYFUL NOISE!!

Today it was "PAN'S & SPOONS"!!!
I think I have mentioned before that Josiah is very musically inclined... Seriously, He has been a worshipper since he was a very young baby! He mimics our Pastor who is also our worship leader - He has 4 different play guitars but takes the whole guitar thing very serious. So much so that my brother in law decided to make him a custom made guitar stand for his little bitty guitar, because he takes it to every church service since he was 1 year old. He has just recently (on his own) decided to put his guitar stand right next to Pastors & stand right by his side "DURING" the entire worship service - This boy is something!!(He loves 2 worship that's for sure)!!!
I have 3 pic's of that & will post real soon just that since we don't have our own camera or pic phone we always ask Mom, Beth or Josh to take pic's for us and I'm waiting for Josh to send me the pictures via e-mail. I think it looks so cute - he looks like a mini of our Pastor :)

Today Josiah was playing with some drum sticks he got from a drummer in a Band that Cindy's brother is in. He was pounding on my walls and singing his little heart out, so I decided that I better give him some stuff to bang on - the cake pan & plastic spoons were his favorite!
He was so engaged in this play that I was able to sort laundry, clean up from breakfast, hang a load of laundry, make lunch and still had a quick chance for a run to the bathroom :) & then after I asked[soon to be] uncle Tony to take a picture for us with his phone, I sat with him and made a joyful noise

HIS EYES ARE BLURRED OUT FOR SOME REASON

(we think he was singing & moving his face or maybe blinking)
BANGING THE CAKE PAN REALLY HARD & LOUD

Later we also added a muffin pan to our Band!

Later when my mom & Beth came after daddy got home he very proudly told them, "Bible says, JOYFUL NOISE uto the Lord psaLms 62"[accent the L] one of the verses he learned at school. His favorite verse and he knows the reference too, he says,"If you ask anything in my name, I W I L L D O I T [yelling] John furrrrrteen furrrrteen!! [rolling the r's]

He is so precious!! We also have a picture someone took at church of Kayla - kneeling at the front of our church during a worship song.(she doesn't know it was taken) We want to have it sent to our computer & then we will post it.

Oh our hearts are so filled with joy to see our kids worshipping :)

I sent out 3 more resume's today *Praying for a door to open*

Steve had a grate day & my appointments were a bit draining - nothing was resolved, well not really but I found out we can appeal it, just that it will take too long to save Josiah's spot - WE ARE STILL TRUSTING & BELIEVING, GOD KNOWS ALL OF OUR TOMORROWS, HE KNOWS WHEN I'M GETTING A JOB & HE WILL PLACE JOSIAH WHERE HE NEEDS TO BE AT THE RIGHT TIME... ... ...

until then we will keep "making a joyful noise unto the Lord"

*confession I enjoyed banging those spoons& pans* (good outlet-Hee, Hee, Hee)

DUCKS and TRUCKS

We had a very, wonderfully blessed day!





Josiah & I played and took a long walk - on our walk today, we found out that a neighbor half a block away has two big ducks waddling around inside her front yard. Josiah was soooooo amazed, we spent about 10 minutes just talking to the ducks :)





After the very long walk we came home and he invited me to sit on the side walk with him and play "trucks"(in my morning glory- flower bed) OH well flowers can be bought and re-planted if need be, but those precious memories we built today were priceless!!!!


(I so wish we could afford for me to stay home with him!!!)





We sang songs and then he said, "you wanna talk about it mom?" (that's what he says when he is feeling like a big boy and wants to engage in a one on one "conversation")



We ate lunch together and "talked about it"

THIS IS HIS NOODLE FACE PICTURE

(He said, "I'm a big boy for look like daddy" - the noodle beard)

and then when daddy got home we sat together on the couch and "talked" about ducks & trucks.

THEN IT WAS NAP TIME!!!

We had a great day and this Friday, will be even better when we get to pick up Kayla from school!!!(she gets to come home 3 weekends out of the month) we miss her more during the school year - but we mention her every night at our dinner table & bed time prayers :)

This Saturday is the annual "Remembrance candle light walk" with Angel Babies(the grief support group). The walk will be at the same park where we took our family pregnancy photos*sigh*



I have a few appointments tomorrow to try and make sense of this huge mess with the Public Assistance Department & Josiah's day care/ preschool. Please pray for God's favor on this situation - this is a christian pre-school, they learn 1 bible verse a week and Josiah was doing really well this is his second week off & if this stupid county program can't figure this all out Josiah can lose his spot. We really don't want that to happen(if he can't stay home with mommy then the second best thing would be a christian curriculum based place where they pray for meals, for boo-boos, & family & are taught by christian people) PLEASE PRAY FOR THIS MATTER TO BE RESOLVED TOMORROW WITHOUT FURTHER DELAY; THEY CAN NOT CONTINUE TO HOLD HIS SPOT WITHOUT A CONTRACT.



I know I can count on many fervent prayers going before God to resolve this matter :)
Thanks to all of you

A New Day... ... A New Season!!!

It's A BRAND NEW DAY. Three O'clock in the morning.
I am proclaiming The Goodness Of God!

He has heard our supplications!!!
Steve just started work again!!!!!

I'm next - Lord :)

I am proclaiming His Blessings with expectancy, I am grateful to all of you who have held us up in prayers - I am praying for His Blessings to Rain down on all of you who have been so faithful in praying for us!!!

May God Repay You In ABUNDANCE; HIS OVERFLOWING ABUNDANCE!!

Your prayers & encouraging comments mean so much to us & we are grateful to you!

"In The Presence of Jehovah"

~blowing bubbles~ SPECIAL thanks to our freinds in Australia blowing bubbles with us!!!

I want to thank all of you who CONTINUE to visit our Lijah's blog. YOU all mean so very much to us. Steve & I are so encouraged by your comments. We are so uplifted by your continued prayers. We know that YOUR prayers are what get us through; on our toughest days.

Yesterday being one of the heaviest thus far.

I was asked yesterday, "how are you doing about tomorrow?" I thought for a minute & then answered, "I don't know yet."

On his 1st month... I don't think I ever shared yet about his 1st month. We were at church family camp. In Morro Bay, California (about 2 hours away) our family vacation spot since I was probably 9yrs. old or so. We tried so hard to get to the coast with Lijah but because of the difficult pregnancy we never made it. Right before he was born about a week or two before, the nurse (specialist with "special" cases) called me to talk over some particulars about the delivery. She explained a whole bunch of stuff including,

this comment:

"If you hear a loud vigorous cry when baby is born, chances are pretty good baby will make it through the night and perhaps even be able to go home with you for some time."

She NEVER assured me this would happen but for some reason, I took this comment as my golden ticket & made plans on taking Lijah with us to family camp.

You can imagine the devastation (round #2) when family camp time came and we had no Lijah to take with us... ... ...

We did the next best thing!

Steve & I talked about how we could include Lijah's memory & carry him in our hearts @ OUR

"Morro Bay"

We (I) needed so deeply for Lijah to be a part of Morro Bay & for Morro Bay to know of My Lijah.

[my family & I have this "thing" with Morro Bay] We go to the ocean to tell [it] "STUFF" major milestones in our life. Like when I got engaged, we went to the edge of the ocean shore & yelled out "I'm engaged!" when I got married, not only Honey-mooned @ Morro Bay but also had a second reception there (family & friends too)! When we became pregnant with Josiah, we stood @ the ocean shore and yelled "we're pregnant!" so when we became pregnant with Elijah we were planning on going & then found out about his "smartness" that took a while to adjust to & then when I finally felt like I could handle it emotionally - physically I couldn't . My family & I also went to the edge of the ocean shore and sat quietly telling the ocean when both my grandparents passed away[mile stones]

Sooooo, maybe that's why I made this comment my golden ticket. (thinking- to plan on taking him with us). I think if our church had chosen any other place we would not have gone - It was so soon and I was so sad but it was "Morro Bay" I almost felt like I had two thing I needed to tell the ocean. [I DID have two things] His birth, & his life in heaven [milestones in my life].

Steve & I (one day before we left) finally came up with how we could make our precious Elijah known to "our" Morro Bay - I couldn't think of anything that felt right! Steve (my sweet hero) saved the day again. He took me to the back steps and said, "I have an idea"...

(I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO CALL IT - So PLEASE put on your thinking caps & help me out with any ideas)

We took a glass jar (1 of my grandmas old mason jars) filled it with mementos from his funeral - 1.the blue pacifier ribbon necklace with his name & dates

2. one of the funeral programs Cindy bought for him with the little lamb picture

3.a few (saved) white silk flower petals Cindy bought to throw into his grave

4.one of his obituaries

5. letters to Elijah from each & every one of my family members including Cindy & some close church friends

On Elijah's one month birthday (we were @ family camp) we drove from the camp site to a special parking place. We all got off of our cars and passed the letters out to each other-

(all of us) to read each others letters. We were all pretty much in tears. Then Steve walked out to the very,very end of the jetty, said a prayer of Thanksgiving for ALL of Gods Excellent gifts & tossed this bottle(jar) into "our" ocean. I could not walk out with him because of the rocks, but I walked as close as I could to the rocks; watching, thinking, crying & praising my Jesus for my sweet baby. (sorry I was so long to get to my point - I didn't know I was gonna be ready to share this today) We thank you all, who still join us on our journey...

The next day (his heaven day - the 10th) I was fine! As is what happened today on his 3 month

(heaven day - the 10th) I had no idea how I would feel because of how sad I was yesterday.

But I am so at peace and I praise the Lord for the gift, of knowing my son is in the very presence of Jehovah!

Psalms 16:11 (Lijah's verse)

You have made know to me the path of life; at your right hand are pleasures forevermore.

THIS IS THE DAY THAT THE LORD HAS MADE, WE WILL REJOICE & BE GLAD IN IT

~ 3 Months Sweet Lijah, Love you forever ~ (1 of ?)

Oh my baby! My sweet, sweet boy. I miss you Lijah. Mommy misses you so much! I want to hold you again, to feel your precious warm face, your hair, your tiny nose, I miss you papas!



When I close my eyes... I can see you so clear in my minds eye. You are forever in my heart brave boy. I am so glad you are not tired any more. You can breath so free & clear.



Daddy made you a garden precious love! He misses you every day. We know you are in such a better place. We know you are not lacking anything!


Everyday Josiah talks about you, says your name or draws you hearts. Lijah you have a wonderful "big" brother. He is so nice. I watch the video of how he kept kissing you - Oh I know he misses you too. He plays pretend with you - giving you a ride on the back of his red tricycle. He throws the ball up in the sky and yells out your name. He blows bubbles and yells, "tiny ones for you my Lijah".

I wish you could have stayed with us. I MISS YOU SO MUCH BABY BOY!

I have met a lot of ~YOUR WORSHIP PARTNERS'~ mommies. WE ALL talk about each and every one of you; how much we love you and miss you. We share stories and pictures of all of you. I'm telling everyone that today, I'm missing my sweet 3 month old baby.

Isaac & Asher and Eva and Joshua and Jacob were all their to meet you! I talk to their mommies!

Oh, my Lijah, My sweet Lijah, My little tiny baby, Mommy misses you sweetness!

HAPPY 3 MONTH BIRTHDAY !
No portrait sitting, no walking you in your stroller, no singing you to sleep...
but WE LOVE YOU FOREVER LIJAH.

Daddy & I will go to the cemetery and let your brother blow bubbles. We made you a pretty blue heart papas.

Love YOU FOREVER!
There are very special people all over the world that think you are special!
They drop in and tell us "Hi " just like the day you were born and the day Jesus & The Angels had a big , big celebration Party, when you got to Heaven!!!!
** please sign (comment) our blog today in honor of Elijah's 3 month birthday**

3 months ~ A Pocket Full Of Kisses~

A Pocket Full Of Kisses
Book By Audrey Penn

..."I think someone needs a kissing hand," she said in a voice that was warm & inviting. She took[his] hand in her own and spread open his tiny fingers into a fan. Leaning over, she kissed him right in the middle of his palm.

... And when he pressed his hand to his cheek, he could hear his mother's words in his head. "mommy loves you," they said. "mommy loves you."

..."Every night, just before the sun goes down, it reaches out with its rays and touches every star in the universe. One by one, the stars light up and shine down upon us. Even on nights we can't see the stars, they're up there sparkling away. No matter how many stars fill the sky, the sun will never run out of light, and its rays will never stop reaching out to them."

That's the way it is with kissing hands. When somebody loves you, their kisses are like the sun's rays - always there and always shining. No matter how many kissing hands I give... I will never, ever run out."

This is a story I used to read to Kayla when she was 5 years old.

now I read it to Josiah, & tonight to my Lijah!

~We will take this book and read it at the cemetery to our boys~

I WONDER...

I woke up this morning - feeling okay. Steve went on another job interview. He got back. Suddenly WHAM! a rush of emotions just slammed me! I look around and I know I am blessed. I just wonder when will I feel it? I HONESTLY feel like all I have been doing on my blog is complaining about what I don't have and all my woes. I am grateful for my family, my church and all the things I am blessed to have.

I just wonder... I wonder sometimes; WHAT? what are you showing me Lord? WHAT? what do you want me to see? WHERE? where are you taking me to Lord? WHERE? where do you want me to go?WHY? why is it so long? Why do I not understand?

I wonder... I even talked to Steve the other day; the bible speaks of blessings and cursing... I guess you can tell where I feel we are.

Things just seem to get harder and harder. Mom doesn't seem to understand she thinks this is all about Elijah. I don't know, is it? could be I guess.

I mean we are doing all we can to stay a float. Staying faithful in church, trying to stay focused, looking for jobs, going on interviews - things just seem to get harder and harder. Now the stupid county is saying they are not going to pay for Josiah's school for some dumb discrepancy thing. Josiah loves school he had just gotten over the attachment issues and now trying to get in to see my worker to dispute this matter is taking forever. She said she has an opening on Friday (1 week since this whole stuff started).

On top of this Steve. He is depressed I know it and he won't admit it. He's not talking, and just wants to sleep. He got back from the interview and layed down. He keeps saying he is tired and needs to sleep. I am trying to be understanding. I don't want to irritate him. I just feel so very overwhelmed.

We are not a people who just want to live on handouts!!!! WE JUST WANT JOBS!! we want to feel like things are finally going in the right direction.

I'm just tired and overwhelmed, confused and weary. I KNOW THE BIBLE I FEEL HIM COMFORT ME, I DO.
I just wish I didn't feel like I do. I feel like we are being punished for something. I keep telling the Lord to show me, that I will fix whatever needs to be fixed. I'm just so tired of all the stress.

I wish Steve would just talk. I know he is very stressed. I can tell. The other day he told me something that I am not real sure what to do with. We were talking and he said "you don't look happy any more, I remember when we first met your eyes and face smiled even when you weren't smiling - You used to be a happy person and now I can't make you happy, maybe it's me"

I said nothing because I didn't know what to say.
PLEASE PRAY. I know I'm complaining and whining and crying and complaining AGAIN
please just pray

BLESSED!

My heart was so blessed by those of you who responded to praying for Becky's husband!
Bob is still having chest pains and is waiting on more blood tests which will decide if he needs to undergo another surgery.

Melissa, I tried to add her blog link like you said (and by the way THANK'S for taking time to show me how to do this) However, Becky's blog says something about a tema member; I don't want to bother her with the trivial stuff right now.

I will keep you all updated as to Bob's progress. I know your faithfulness in praying for Bob & Becky and their family is uplifting them.

A very special thank you to the 3 of you who went through my comments in order to find her blog & let her know you were praying!

I know God sees all of the others who are being ferverent in praying for Bob even if you were unable to leave her a comment. The important thing is for all of us to unite inprayer on their behalf!
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Tonight we came home from church & after dinner we (Steve, Josiah & I) sat on the couch together and relaxed. I was so blessed to just have time to relax and be together :)

I was rubbing Steve's feet and Josiah jumped up into daddy's arms and streched out his little legs and said, "Mommy my toes - mine like daddy too" (little turkey - He's just like his daddy)

Steve & I have been busy with church stuff we are volunteering for, so comming home early tonight was a true blessing.

Friday will be 3 months since Elijah went home to heaven. I am a little bit nervous about my emotions because when I think 3 months, I remember when Josiah turned 3 months we made a day at the mall for lunch walking him in the stroller and a portrait sitting.

In my heart, I feel like what can I do? how can I pour as much into celebrating & honoring Elijah's 3 months in heaven as we did for Josiah?

I know that sounds weird huh? it feels weird to me too but I just feel like this.

Friday is also Beth's due date to deliver Moriah! I'm nervous about that... Steve is too!

LET US PRAY ONE FOR ANOTHER

My friend Becky just wrote & told me her husband had a heart attack & has had emergency surgery.
PLEASE VISIT HER BLOG & LET HER KNOW YOU ARE LIFTING HER UP IN PRAYER!

We all know how encouraged we have felt at the times we have been struggling the hardest and how our hearts are some how comforted by uplifting & encouraging comments left on our blog.

(I know it is not EASY to find her blog because I do not have her URL but she has left a comment on my post from last night "ON MY DINING ROOM FLOOR?!")

IF YOU WOULD BE SO KIND AS TO CLICK ON MY COMMENTS AND WHEN YOU See HER NAME BECKY CLICK the orange blogger icon and the name of her blog is ON BEING STILL.

I know many of you pray so PLEASE drop by her blog and let her know SHE IS BEING UPLIFTED IN HER TIME OF NEED; she has prayed for manyof us through our tough times!

ON MY DINING ROOM FLOOR!!!????

HE WAS VERY QUIET WHEN I LOOKED OVER TO THE DINING ROOM HE WAS SITTING ON THE FLOOR - When Steve heard me say "Josiah you are not supposed to write on the floor!" Steve & I both walked to him and Steve bent down and said now I have to tale your marker away... not nice to write on floor. Immediately Josiah cried, "I'm drawing my Lijah" we sat on the floor with him and had to console our baby boy who was so devastated because we had not appreciated what he was doing... I immediately sat with him on the floor and hugged him and Steve bent to give himnmthe marker back as we told him, "thank you for making a pretty picture for Lijah, but you need to be careful to write on the paper only okay," still sobbing he said, "IT NO FIT MAMA ITS LIJAH'S GARDEN FOR HEAVEN"
I said," okay baby I like your picture for Elijah no write on the floor okay."

Thank God for washable markers!!!

ON MY DINING ROOM FLOOR!!!

NEW BLOGGER

Help me welcome my friend mrstracypants to blog land!!! She is a special friend of mine from church. We have known eachother for over 6 years. SHE IS SPUNKY some might say strange, I once asked myself if she was weird - then I figured SHE'S not weird she's a JESUS FREAK :)

We have become so much closer during the pregnancy, birht & death of Elijah. She is one of my ladies from TUESDAY NIGHT PRAYER
AND ALSO A PRAYER WARRIOR!!! I invite you to visit her blog(on my sidebar under friends)
If you are ever in need of prayer you can REST ASSURED THAT mrstracypants will bear your burden and intercede on your behalf!!!

Forward

I was visiting a blog and was reading of a grandma's heart & how she was missing her angel grand-baby in heaven. This baby would be 2 and 1/2 (right Becky?) Just like my Josiah.
These words came to me as I sat at my computer bowing to say a prayer of comfort & peace for this family.
So I shared with Becky but thought it would be nice to share with you all too!

"As the days move forward, the memories grow deeper & stronger roots in my heart - Never forget you little one..."
I DEDICATE THESE WORDS TO ALL OF OUR ~Little Ones~

We all are moving forward with the heavy hearted days & the memories that bring us joy & healthy tears of love.

Forward has become some what of a bitter sweet. I sat out side in the memorial garden last evening as the sun was setting. I went out to hang some laundry on the line. We are expecting our 1st rain this fall tomorrow. I looked up at the grey cloudy sky. Rain clouds and a warm breeze hovering over and a bright orange sunsetting.

My tears began to roll down my face.
Hanging Josiah's shirts, I remembered his 1st rain. He was born on December 27th and it was storming real bad that year. I remember when we got home holding my tiny little baby boy (4 lbs. - 17 inches) in my arms and standing in front of the window and telling him "rain - see the rain? that's rain. Jesus makes the rain" (he was 4 days old) He had no idea what I was saying. I was just being a mommy! Doing my job teaching my baby. Telling him things about this new world he now lived in.

I finished hanging Josiah's clothes and when I started back up the side walk to my back door, the breeze blew and my attention was drawn to Elijah's Garden. A hanging bell [thingy] that Steve just bought last week began to chime in the breeze. My face covered in tears---
I sighed "OH ELIJAH YOUR NOT GOING TO BE IN MY ARMS FRIDAY FOR OUR FIRST RAIN, SWEET BOY" *still crying now*

I sat out there till the sun went down and the back lights turned on. Steve came out first not too long after we had both been sitting there Josiah joined us. We sat there together watching Josiah run and play in his brother's memorial garden. He talks to him and blows bubble for him and sometimes it hurts so bad to see him look up in the sky and say, "for you Lijah - For you - catch it brother"(throwing a toy or a ball or blowing the bubbles up in the sky) After a while when he gets bored he'll say , "lijah no listen to me mom - he no play with me". I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO SAY , so many times I don't say anything. Thank God that most of the time he doesn't wait for an answer. i have figured that's just his way of closing the 'moment' because right after he says that, he begins to play something else. * not crying any more* ;}
I wish he had a brother or sister to play with [Kayla isn't here all the time].
I know it is perfectly okay for him to have imaginary friends [his is Mathew] Mathew is actually a friend from his first day care but he always pretends Matthew is here with him.
Matthew has just recently become "MATT". I heard Josiah arguing [yes - he argues with him. he also tattles on 'matt' when he ' josiah' drops something] he said, "Matt you better move off! move right now! MY shooooooooooooooooe! I walked into his room and his shoe was stuck under his bed's foot board. He was pulling and pulling [he had no idea I was now standing behind him] I said whats wrong and he said [face mad red] Matt won't let me my shooooo lone for be late to school" I said, "oh your shoe is stuck?" he said, "no matt" I said," okay let me get it for you" so I got his shoe and as he strapped it on he said "no do that no more matt, not nice for make me late for school" and walked out into the living room[face still red].

That just makes me feel a little sad for him. Not having a little play partner, having to make believe one up! silly little guy :)

"ALSO HERE IS A SPECIAL HELLO TO OUR FOLLOWERS,
Rebekah, Melissa, LoreleAmi, MrsRubly, Siscaboo & Jessi!!" (WE GOT 6 now!!!)
YOU ALL HAVE A BLESSED DAY !!!

A few things to mention

# 1 I absolutly love blogging! and I have been piddling around on my dashboard and stuff like that to try to figure this all out, cause when I... I mean when my nephew Jared set it up for me I was jsut happy to be able to communicate back and forth about our journey with Elijah. I know I was off of blogging for about a month or so & now that I'm back.... .... It's like blog land went through a "ccolness revolution" and I missed it!!!!!!!!! [can you see me pouting? my bottom lip is dragging so low If I stand up I might trip on my lower lip] ;(
Sooooooooooooooo all you SSsssssssssssweeeeeeeeeeeeeeaties,
T E L L M E!! (WHINING!!!)(i want a cute blog too!!)

#2 Did you see that I did manage to add "followers" I'm so good at this stuff! RIGHT??!!!
WRONG but thanks to my new followers that was pretty neat to see that - took me a while to figure out what it meant; (funny confession I never told to any one before now) when I logged on one night and read 1 FOLLOWER
it was like 2 a.m and I was alone in the kitchen and I got all scared and got up to close the blinds over the sink which is directly behind my desk and then logged off and darted across the dining room, ran through the living room straight to my room and jumped into bed real fast! (I'M NOT KIDDING) I hugged Steve real tight but he was fast asleep!!
My heart was kinda pounding and I thought (some protection he is when my computer just announced I have 1 follower).
I AM SO NOT KIDDING and if my brothers and sisters and mom & Cindy & her son Chris and my nephews ROQUE, KITO & JARED & My COUSIN BERNICE were bloggers & read this they'd be BUSTING UP LAUGHING saying "YUP- she's not kidding" AND POSTING MORE RIDICULOUS STORIES LIKE THIS ONE!!!!!!!!!!!!! Ahhhhhhhhhhhh! so glad they don't blog :)