Forward

I was visiting a blog and was reading of a grandma's heart & how she was missing her angel grand-baby in heaven. This baby would be 2 and 1/2 (right Becky?) Just like my Josiah.
These words came to me as I sat at my computer bowing to say a prayer of comfort & peace for this family.
So I shared with Becky but thought it would be nice to share with you all too!

"As the days move forward, the memories grow deeper & stronger roots in my heart - Never forget you little one..."
I DEDICATE THESE WORDS TO ALL OF OUR ~Little Ones~

We all are moving forward with the heavy hearted days & the memories that bring us joy & healthy tears of love.

Forward has become some what of a bitter sweet. I sat out side in the memorial garden last evening as the sun was setting. I went out to hang some laundry on the line. We are expecting our 1st rain this fall tomorrow. I looked up at the grey cloudy sky. Rain clouds and a warm breeze hovering over and a bright orange sunsetting.

My tears began to roll down my face.
Hanging Josiah's shirts, I remembered his 1st rain. He was born on December 27th and it was storming real bad that year. I remember when we got home holding my tiny little baby boy (4 lbs. - 17 inches) in my arms and standing in front of the window and telling him "rain - see the rain? that's rain. Jesus makes the rain" (he was 4 days old) He had no idea what I was saying. I was just being a mommy! Doing my job teaching my baby. Telling him things about this new world he now lived in.

I finished hanging Josiah's clothes and when I started back up the side walk to my back door, the breeze blew and my attention was drawn to Elijah's Garden. A hanging bell [thingy] that Steve just bought last week began to chime in the breeze. My face covered in tears---
I sighed "OH ELIJAH YOUR NOT GOING TO BE IN MY ARMS FRIDAY FOR OUR FIRST RAIN, SWEET BOY" *still crying now*

I sat out there till the sun went down and the back lights turned on. Steve came out first not too long after we had both been sitting there Josiah joined us. We sat there together watching Josiah run and play in his brother's memorial garden. He talks to him and blows bubble for him and sometimes it hurts so bad to see him look up in the sky and say, "for you Lijah - For you - catch it brother"(throwing a toy or a ball or blowing the bubbles up in the sky) After a while when he gets bored he'll say , "lijah no listen to me mom - he no play with me". I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO SAY , so many times I don't say anything. Thank God that most of the time he doesn't wait for an answer. i have figured that's just his way of closing the 'moment' because right after he says that, he begins to play something else. * not crying any more* ;}
I wish he had a brother or sister to play with [Kayla isn't here all the time].
I know it is perfectly okay for him to have imaginary friends [his is Mathew] Mathew is actually a friend from his first day care but he always pretends Matthew is here with him.
Matthew has just recently become "MATT". I heard Josiah arguing [yes - he argues with him. he also tattles on 'matt' when he ' josiah' drops something] he said, "Matt you better move off! move right now! MY shooooooooooooooooe! I walked into his room and his shoe was stuck under his bed's foot board. He was pulling and pulling [he had no idea I was now standing behind him] I said whats wrong and he said [face mad red] Matt won't let me my shooooo lone for be late to school" I said, "oh your shoe is stuck?" he said, "no matt" I said," okay let me get it for you" so I got his shoe and as he strapped it on he said "no do that no more matt, not nice for make me late for school" and walked out into the living room[face still red].

That just makes me feel a little sad for him. Not having a little play partner, having to make believe one up! silly little guy :)

"ALSO HERE IS A SPECIAL HELLO TO OUR FOLLOWERS,
Rebekah, Melissa, LoreleAmi, MrsRubly, Siscaboo & Jessi!!" (WE GOT 6 now!!!)
YOU ALL HAVE A BLESSED DAY !!!