Friday, October 10, 2008

"In The Presence of Jehovah"

~blowing bubbles~ SPECIAL thanks to our freinds in Australia blowing bubbles with us!!!

I want to thank all of you who CONTINUE to visit our Lijah's blog. YOU all mean so very much to us. Steve & I are so encouraged by your comments. We are so uplifted by your continued prayers. We know that YOUR prayers are what get us through; on our toughest days.
Yesterday being one of the heaviest thus far.
I was asked yesterday, "how are you doing about tomorrow?" I thought for a minute & then answered, "I don't know yet."
On his 1st month... I don't think I ever shared yet about his 1st month. We were at church family camp. In Morro Bay, California (about 2 hours away) our family vacation spot since I was probably 9yrs. old or so. We tried so hard to get to the coast with Lijah but because of the difficult pregnancy we never made it. Right before he was born about a week or two before, the nurse (specialist with "special" cases) called me to talk over some particulars about the delivery. She explained a whole bunch of stuff including,
this comment:
"If you hear a loud vigorous cry when baby is born, chances are pretty good baby will make it through the night and perhaps even be able to go home with you for some time."
She NEVER assured me this would happen but for some reason, I took this comment as my golden ticket & made plans on taking Lijah with us to family camp.
You can imagine the devastation (round #2) when family camp time came and we had no Lijah to take with us... ... ...
We did the next best thing!
Steve & I talked about how we could include Lijah's memory & carry him in our hearts @ OUR
"Morro Bay"
We (I) needed so deeply for Lijah to be a part of Morro Bay & for Morro Bay to know of My Lijah.
[my family & I have this "thing" with Morro Bay] We go to the ocean to tell [it] "STUFF" major milestones in our life. Like when I got engaged, we went to the edge of the ocean shore & yelled out "I'm engaged!" when I got married, not only Honey-mooned @ Morro Bay but also had a second reception there (family & friends too)! When we became pregnant with Josiah, we stood @ the ocean shore and yelled "we're pregnant!" so when we became pregnant with Elijah we were planning on going & then found out about his "smartness" that took a while to adjust to & then when I finally felt like I could handle it emotionally - physically I couldn't . My family & I also went to the edge of the ocean shore and sat quietly telling the ocean when both my grandparents passed away[mile stones]
Sooooo, maybe that's why I made this comment my golden ticket. (thinking- to plan on taking him with us). I think if our church had chosen any other place we would not have gone - It was so soon and I was so sad but it was "Morro Bay" I almost felt like I had two thing I needed to tell the ocean. [I DID have two things] His birth, & his life in heaven [milestones in my life].
Steve & I (one day before we left) finally came up with how we could make our precious Elijah known to "our" Morro Bay - I couldn't think of anything that felt right! Steve (my sweet hero) saved the day again. He took me to the back steps and said, "I have an idea"...
(I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO CALL IT - So PLEASE put on your thinking caps & help me out with any ideas)
We took a glass jar (1 of my grandmas old mason jars) filled it with mementos from his funeral - 1.the blue pacifier ribbon necklace with his name & dates
2. one of the funeral programs Cindy bought for him with the little lamb picture
3.a few (saved) white silk flower petals Cindy bought to throw into his grave of his obituaries
5. letters to Elijah from each & every one of my family members including Cindy & some close church friends

On Elijah's one month birthday (we were @ family camp) we drove from the camp site to a special parking place. We all got off of our cars and passed the letters out to each other-
(all of us) to read each others letters. We were all pretty much in tears. Then Steve walked out to the very,very end of the jetty, said a prayer of Thanksgiving for ALL of Gods Excellent gifts & tossed this bottle(jar) into "our" ocean. I could not walk out with him because of the rocks, but I walked as close as I could to the rocks; watching, thinking, crying & praising my Jesus for my sweet baby. (sorry I was so long to get to my point - I didn't know I was gonna be ready to share this today) We thank you all, who still join us on our journey...
The next day (his heaven day - the 10th) I was fine! As is what happened today on his 3 month
(heaven day - the 10th) I had no idea how I would feel because of how sad I was yesterday.
But I am so at peace and I praise the Lord for the gift, of knowing my son is in the very presence of Jehovah!
Psalms 16:11 (Lijah's verse)
You have made know to me the path of life; at your right hand are pleasures forevermore.