Tuesday, January 20, 2009


We are still holding onto our faith with every shred of hope that HE WILL SEE US through
KEEP THE PRAYERS COMMING; cause this Sunami is still raging and roaring!

Friday, January 9, 2009

January 9th

6 months ago today, We were holiding our little 'Lijah in our arms. It feels so chaotic!
I really want to give up!!! I know I can't quit but I am so tired and I honestly don't see things straight any more.

Steve & I continue to be under a tremendous amount of financial stress (unimaginable)!!!
We both went on job interviews today.

Which could be seen as a good thing except that I don't have anymore energy to hope.

I will not be blogging much any more because we no longer have internet service. I am honestly not sure how much longer until this dam will break.

I will try to check my emails whenever I get a hold of a computer & I will try to blog at least once a week. (my nephew ben's computer)

Prayer requests:
#1 JOBS for Steve & I
#2 continued peace in our home
#3 kids health
#4 Gods provision
#5 direction

our email is stv.mre@gmail.com

Wednesday, January 7, 2009


OUR EMAIL IS stv.mre@gmail.com (for that someone who asked)

Hello All: we are still holding on tightly to the strength that only comes from our Lord. We are taking life one moment at a time.

Steve & I are both still looking for jobs. (still nothing).

All we can say is that we are still here, still keeping our faith, our love for each other is growing stronger through these trial-some days. We are growing in our walk with Christ every day. We are truly going through a threshing process. It hurts - It is tiresome and oh so desperately desolate at times. Our focus during this past year is on the end result; a greater glory - some day.

Though these last few days seem heavier, Steve & I find ourselves in a place of questioning -" when will it stop raining? When will the flood waters stop rising?" When will we see the raging waves be still?"

Went to church tonight - I guess since it has been a while since I blogged I haven't written down that our positions as teachers has changed and we are now in charge of the nursery. YUP! the nursery. Kinda ironic how we are the ones doing this and we are also the ones who lost a baby.

Yesterday- Moriah came over for the evening. Her parents were enjoying a 1 month anniversary dinner. It was fun having her over. We all had so much fun!! she is showing an interest in trying to push her feet down to roll onto her tummy. Yesterday, for the very first time I had a flash back of Elijah's head while rubbing Moriah's. (it was weird).

He would have been turning 6 months in two days.

I can hardly believe six months have passed and we still seem to be going through such turmoil.
I often find myself wondering what kind of testimony our lives are being to others. I mean we are supposed to be an example, an encouragement, we are Christians and that word means to be like Christ. WE ARE SO NOT! Our lives are supposed to bring glory to God. How can the way we are living possibly glorify God?!?!!!

Monday, January 5, 2009


Tonight - Jonathan & Olivia, Tony & Beth came over with dinner and we had a tostito bowl party. Kito & I spent the afternoon together it was so nice! I hadn't had a nice time with my 1st nephew in a VERY LONG time. We got back and it was just about time for everyone to get here so Kito Ben stayed for pizza too!!

Steve had called me while I was out with Kito & told me they were all meeting here to watch the game with him. When Kito & I walked in to the house Steve & Josiah had made some posters that said OHIO vs. TEXAS he had divided the living room in half and set it up for opposing teams. Tony is from Texas so he & the Dews were going for Texas, Mom goes with the flow, Josiah & I are partial to Texas as well - normally Steve is too but tonight he decided to make it fun and he was the lone ranger going for OHIO Jonathan & Olivia got here and Jonathan also decided it would be fun to Join Steve in going against Tony. Olivia sided with us :)
Way to go 'Livia!!! YOU CHOSE THE WINNING TEAM!!!!!!

Such a nice evening full of laughter and carefree, pleasurable fun with my bro. & sis :)

I am so grateful to Jonathan, it seems that lately he has been getting real close to Steve. I am not sure if it is just happening naturally what but it has been such a needed outlet for Steve.

I also want to say Thank you to all my dear friends who have been e-mailing to check in on us. We are doing okay

Friday, January 2, 2009

Still believeing...

We are still holding onto our faith, eachother and hope! We had a rough day but thank the Lord He saw us through another day!!!

Not like I had hoped

My new years eve was nothing like I mentioned in the post before this one. For some reason things were a bit different - not at all what i had hoped for... funny just like so many other things in 2008 - not like I had wished!

We went to church. The evening turned out to be quite long and I was not doing too well. I realized early on in the evening that my defense mechanism for the evening was curtness.

Hmm - well that's not too nice!!! But that is how I was dealing with things and so that is how it was, period.

We left earlier than normal - usually we stay till at least 30 minutes passed midnight. We left at fifteen til. We drove home. Ahhhhh it felt so good to come HOME.

Josiah was still awake and we all three sat in the living room for about 1 hour. Josiah fell asleep and Steve & I stayed talking for about another hour.

Woke up at 7:30 a.m. We watched the ROSE BOWL PARADE and a football game. Lounged around the house till 1:30 in the afternoon. Steve went to buy us some T.P @ wal-mart and me & 'Si stayed home (still in our jammies) My mom & sisters kept calling to see if we were going. i said we were but just not sure what time. Finally made it out of the house at 5:00 came back a t 6:30.

Man we need jobs BAD!!!
I'm in a pretty sucky mood - not mad, angry, or even grouchy.... just not in a "HAPPY, JOLLY MOOD"
So much going on inside my mind just don't feel like sharing.
Been looking for jobs. Applied for two; Each of us & we are still waiting.
I hate to even put any energy into... NO I DON'T HAVE ANY ENERGY TO PUT INTO HOPING any more. it's to tiring to get my hopes up & get all excited and start imagining what it might be like to get "that" job.
I kept thinking all day long about HOW I JUST WISH so very darn bad that things could be different. I'm not even going as far as talking about Elijah, I mean just a "little" different. Wish we weren't barely getting by & HOW I SO WISH GOD WOULD JUST MAKE THING CLEAR ALREADY!
Man, I don't even know if any one can imagine how tired we are. Not even my mom or my family realize what we are feeling. JUST PLAIN TIRED!! Ironic huh? a brand new year with the same old heavy load - nothings really changed, not yet any ways!

I got a call from some one today who was just bragging on all she got for Christmas, all she had gotten her husband, and how "tired" they were from "shopping" and "returning" gifts. Hmmm! funny!!
"tired" like me & Steve (NOT)
She went on to tell me how they were ready for a meal at home cause they have just been going out to restaurants and places to eat for the past two weeks. HOW NICE!!!
Our pantries are pretty bare til Saturday.
If this person went to our church or read my blog she would know I am not the one to tell al her "shopping woes" to!!!
Oh well so is life right?
YEA THOUGH I WALK THROUGH THE VALLEY OF SHADOW OF DEATH... I will fear no evil, thy rod & thy staff they comfort me. YOU lead me beside still waters, you restore my soul.... OH WE NEED THAT REFRESHING!!!

May the words of my mouth and the meditation of my heart be pleasing in your sight O Lord, my ROCK & MY REDEEMER!!

* We Love you all - sorry if you run into us & we are quiet. It's not you it's just a heavy load* & PLEASE Pass it on so others who might not read this, will know we aren't MAD we are just in need of a whole lot of prayer.