Monday, September 8, 2008

BIG DILEMA AFTER DEATH OF MY BABY


Tomorrow my sweet boy would have been 2 months old. I feel so very angry that I don't have him here with me and I know there is a purpose I know he is in a better place. I know I will see him again but all that I know doesn't change anything in my aching heart. I don't know where to begin...

Steve and I found out that the secretary at the funeral home in town took HER teenage son into the funeral home to GALK at my Precious sweet Elijah. We were told by the sons girlfriend that the funeral home secretary took the guy in to see WHAT A BIRTH DEFECTS THAT CAN HAPPEN WHEN PEOPLE DO DRUGS SMOKE AND DRINK!!!!! I AM SO ANGRY FURIOUS BEYOND WORDS!!!! they gave us very detailed information about Elijah's head so I know it has to have some truth to it!!! Ive been contacting attorneys and BBB I want so bad for this woman to know that what she did was so very wron on so many levels!!! I called the funeral home director and he said "My secretary screwd up" I AM SO FURIOUS MAD how dare them even talk about how my beautiful boy looked!!! it is none of their business to be talking about his body and how GOD chose to make him! That woman knew nothing of me or my life and I only met her for the first time the day I went with my two sisters to out on Elijah's shoes before the funeral!!! any ways I WISH HOPE AND PRAY THAT I GET DIRECTION AND CLOSURE FOR WHAT HAPPENED because that funeral home misconduct was JUST WRONG!!!! any ways thanks for still thinking of us I NEED TO TALK TO SOME OF YOU MOMMAS THAT HAVE BEEN WALKING THE ROAD LONG WITH SUFFERING!!! I MISS HIM SO BAD!!! IF ANY OF YOU MOMMAS have a chance to write me to my email it is stv.mre@gmail.com WRITE TO ME THERE AND WE CAN EXCHANGE ADDRESS AND PHONE NUMBERS IF THAT IS OKAY!!! I NEED TO TALK TO A MOMMA THAT KNOWS MY PAIN BY EXPERIENCE NOT just some one who wants to understand I need to know if all my flood of emotions are normal or not!!!! PLEASE I KNOW I SEEM TO HAVE JUST DROPPED OF and did'nt keep you all up two date BUT PLEASE FORGIVE ME AND KNOW THAT I NEED LOTS OF PRAYERS AND SUPPORT

14 comments:

  1. Marie, I have no words except to say that I'm praying for you. You are not forgotten. Thank you for the new pic of Elijah. He is perfect - as we knew he would be.

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  2. Oh my goodness - what that woman did is unspeakable, unprofessional and absolutely a violation of your families rights. Allowing ANYONE to view your sweet baby without your permission is not ok. I would also consider contacting the funeral home licensing board (not sure who they are or how it works) too look at the practices and procedures in that funeral home. You might start here: http://www.dca.ca.gov/online_services/complaints/
    The secretary should be fired immediately, obviously she is not respectful enough to hold a position like that. I think that what she did is cruel and borders on slander given that Elijah's condition was not caused by "drinking or drugs". I would be absolutely furious if I were you, you trusted that funeral home with your sweet, perfect baby and they violated that trust.
    I am so sorry that you have had to deal with this in addition to the grief of losing your boy. Stay strong and know that by standing up against these people you are protecting your son.
    I'm thinking of you and hoping that your heart starts to heal as you grieve for ELijah.

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  3. I am just speechless. What a terrible thing to do. I can't imagine what you are going through to begin with and then to have some horrible person with no heart do something like that? I am sitting here in tears with my heart breaking for you. I am so very sorry. I hope that at the very least that woman is fired. Sending hugs & prayers your way....
    ~Erika

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  4. I wanted to add that your little Elijah is truly beautiful. What a precious gift from God and what amazing parents he was blessed with.

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  5. I don't even know what to say. I am so sorry for what you are going through. I would be so upset, so incredibly upset!! If I were close to where you are I would be there in a heartbeat to hold your hand, and I would walk into that funeral home shaking my finger at those people. How dare them!!

    I totally understand your anger. I am crying for you. I am praying for you. Your son was so beautiful. You are such a good mom with the biggest heart. Your children are so lucky to have you as their mom. I love the pictures. I pray that peace will find you in as many moments as possible, until someday peace finds you more often than not, and then someday, it is with you all day and night. I will be thinking of you all the time.

    God is walking with you today, and every day. He will get you through this painful time. He is holding your hand, at the same time that he's holding baby Elijah's hand, so you know that in all moments you have a hold of your precious baby Elijah's hand, until the day you get to scoop him up and hold him forever close to you.

    Love,

    Deborah

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  6. Hi Marie,
    I lost my son 9 years ago, he was a preemie, and a twin and his twin survived. I had a really bad experience with my funeral home as well. I blogged about it about 2 weeks ago...It was titled "Bitterness". I am so sorry it happened to you.. I will be lifting you up in prayer.
    Laura

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  7. Elijah was a beautiful baby boy. Thank you for sharing the picture of him.
    What the funeral home did is completly out of line, but try not to let it get you even more upset. You don't need that right now, you have enough greif to deal with.
    Your family continues to be in my prayers. Hang in there.

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  8. Marie
    That woman was a monster. I wouldn't say she was much of a Mother. Because, any Mother worth her weight, wouldn't even dream of doing such a terrible act. Your son was/is beautiful. He always will be. He was special. He was loved. Do not let that awful woman destroy one memory. Cyber hugs to you and your family. Perhaps if that woman had 1 ounce of decency, she would quit her job and make a public apology. And raise public awareness for birth defects to help ignorant people like her self.
    God is with you. With I could do or say more.
    Lisa

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  9. I am so sorry for you loss and I can't imagine what you are going through. I can't believe they did that to your precious baby. Just know he is in a better place. I am praying for you and your precious family.

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  10. I am so very very sorry to hear of the horrific story at the funeral home. I know your precious angel was due so much more respect than that. You must miss him so much. You are a good mother and no matter what that other 'mother' was trying to instil in her own son, your story and your son's story (and the FALSE information she gave her son) was not hers to tell. Karma...but I sense you are the kind of person who will someday forgive this person. Although I wonder if this is an appropriate place for her to work if this is her behavior. I think the BBB and anyone else you tell this story to would be very inclined to persue action against her and the home as well. Unfortunate for them, but so tragic for you. Thinking of you all. God Bless.

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  11. I have been praying for you and your family and will continue to do so. I will pray the Lord will guide your steps as you decide how to handle all that you have learned. Your baby boy is Beautiful! Congratulations on the birth of such an amazing little man and my heart breaks for you in his passing. Praying! Praying! Praying!

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  12. I am totally blown away be the actions of the funeral home. I am a funeral director who just lost his neice from the same illness. I would believe your best action would be through your state board of funeral directors. Of course a lawyer would help you also. I would think the FH insurance company would give you whatever you wanted. The media likes these types of stories too. If one of my staff ever did or even thought of this they would be fired and I would bring legal action for breach of employment contract. We had the chance to care for our neice when she died and kept her with us at home to be sure she was safe until the funeral. I am so sorry for what they did to you. I hope in time you are able to work through this pain and grief. We will never be the same after the death of a child, but somehow we manage to make it thourgh until tomorrow and live to find sometype type of healing. I wil never forget your Elijah.

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  13. Oh Marie, I just have no words. I will pray for peace in your heart. The picture of you and Elijah is precious, no child is loved more than he is, I am sure.

    Nilia Palhinha

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  14. I've been reading your blog tonight from back-to-front, and though I hadn't been commenting, I had to come out and comment on this post...

    If you're up to it emotionally, I honestly think you should file a lawsuit...not just because of that incident, but to make a point--- that sort of thing is NOT OKAY! I've heard so many of these sort of things happening to others, and have had cruel, ignorant things done to myself as well, and it's not right! If people think what that "mother" did was okay, than someone needs to get across that it's not, even if it means getting sued. She "screwed up"??? Talk about the understatement of the year! People need to stop "screwing up"...people need to have compassion, and love, and not be so ignorant!

    Deborah- I wouldn't be shaking just any finger at them!!!

    I try to not be judgmental to people, even when what they've done is so obviously wrong, but sometimes I just get so angry! How dare they do that to you, and to your innocent little boy! He's not a medical display, he's a human being! I'm so sorry you're having to go through all this bologna on top of what you've already gone through!

    ~Alex

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