Friday, May 2, 2008


I just can't help it. I keep having these dreams of Elijah's birth no more like his death. Earlier this week I had the dream that I was driving from town to town looking for him in the casket and Steve told me we had already buried him, then I had the one that we were at the cemetery and I had no clue what was going on... ... well last night I dram his precious little face. He was so precious. THOSE EYES he was staring so intently into my eyes. I woke up crying. I dozed off again and began to dream again, I dram his voice what a beautiful sound "I know newborns don't talk" but as I was holding him him and looking at him, I heard his voice saying, "Daddy... Daddy" It was the sweetest sound ever. (AND NO IT WAS NOT JOSIAH'S VOICE!!!!!!!!!) I heard him and I know. It was such a sweet soft voice. The soft sound of his voice saying Daddy in such a tender and endearing way.
I WISH I COULD HAVE A WAY TO RECORD AND KEEP IT FOREVER!!!!!!!!!! (besides in my heart) I woke up crying and Steve just held me we cried together and just talked and talked and talked. I was do afraid of falling asleep because I didn't want to have another dream.
I FEEL SO EMOTIONALLY WEAK TODAY! NO STRENGTH AT ALL. I have stuff to do but no will to do it.

THOUGHTS, just racing wild in my mind. "thank you Jesus because you know my deepest thoughts, you love me and are here with me. I don't have to sort my thoughts in order for you to know what I feel THANK YOU MY JESUS! you are so beautiful to me, to feel your peace in the very core of my being as this rage of emotions tends to overwhelm me YOUR PEACE is with me. I know this even if my mind and my body feel otherwise. MY SOUL KNOW THIS FULL WELL YOU are my confidence my rock and my strength".

TO ALL OUR READERS: need you to know we appreciate you beyond what we can express. I know many of you are aching right along with us.

1 comment:

  1. Hi Marie,

    So sorry I spelled your name wrong in the last post. Please know that my heart aches along with you during this time. I am so sorry for the dreams that hurt you while you sleep. I am praying for peace in your heart and mind, and that they work together for you to be at rest. Keep holding tight to Jesus, He is and always be your Rock.

    Love and Prayers, Laurie in So. Ca.