Thursday, December 18, 2008

WE FOUND IT!!!! and... ... ... I just to vent

WELL THANK THE GOOD LORD ABOVE!!! WE FOUND THE RING! after tearing the house apart piece by piece and NOT getting to bed til 2 a.m.
My mom called @ 7:30 to see if we were up? She could tell i was asleep, so she said I will just go back to Parlier. (She had brought Tony to work in Selma) I went back to bed[exhausted]. We got up @ 8 and I was still crying. Steve just kept telling me, "it's not your fault".
I decided to call Tracy. She had just finished praying with me & my phone beeped. It was mom. She said I got it!!
WHAT!? HOW?!?!
well Steve had picked lemons for her to take home. She decided to take each lemon out of the bag one at a time and wash them to put in a bowl on her kitchen table. She took the last lemon out & saw an orange lump at the bottom of the bag. She says, she new it had to be the ring[covered in masa] she said she prayed oh Lord let it be the ring and s she ran it under the water the diamonds began to sparkle!!!
STEVE IS SO HAPPY, not to mention me toooooo!!

* I was trying to just let it roll right off my back - let it go. I email a very dear friend of mine to tell her, like just to get it off my chest type of thing and it happened AGAIN so now I just gotta blog this. IT IS CRAZY!

okay so now, I just really need to vent. So last week Kakie & I went to Wal-Mart to get some punch for Steve's B-Day lunch. We ran into a family we know. SHE, 'THE WIFE' [to remain nameless] asked me oh, so how old is Steve turning. I told her 35. SHE said oh wow that's still young, so then why do you guys look so old & wasted. The husband got embarrassed & tried to help by saying, OH they look like that because of Elijah. [okay- thank you] Then she said something else and Kakie says MY MOMS NOT OLD they do cry but they are not wasted.
her little daughter said something too. I was so shocked embarrassed & upset I did not know what to say or how to get away. Finally we left.


This time (yesterday) we are at Food Max and SHE says oh Hi!!! I wanted to ignore her so bad & can you believe it SHE said, "What are you doing?" I said just shopping. She starts to look at me from top to bottom & says:
"OH too bad they don't sell makeovers! ha! ha! ha! - man I told 'hubby'[to remain nameless] I told him man I hope we never look like that when we turn 35. So yeah you should ask Steve to buy you new clothes & get your hair died & stuff cause you look alot older than 35. I always think I gotta look good for my family to be proud of me!! I mean Marie your kids always look good but you & Steve shouldn't look as old as you do. You just need a new hair style & a new make up look & maybe get your nails done YOU WILL FEEL SO MUCH HAPPIER!! like look at your tennis shoes those are way out of style and they look real old too. I am just saying do something to make yourself look & feel better & the same for Steve!!"

I was staring at the green beans the entire time, till her husband came around the corner after just enough time to tear down my self esteem & rip me to shreds!!
He says oh hi! Hows it going? I was fighting back the tears so bad & Josiah says "momma shoes are old" and he just giggled (unaware of what had just happened) I said well I gotta go. I did not even finish my shopping. Josiah kept asking me "You wash you shoes momma?" "You uh make up momma?" I could not speak! We walked out of the grocery store and put 'SI in the car seat and got in the car & buckled up. I sat there tears streaming down my face. I started the car & turned on the radio so 'Si could start singing
I kept shouting at myself in silence!! "IT DOESN'T MATTER! MATERIALISTIC THINGS DO NOT MATTER TO YOU" I kept hearing Steve telling me, "DON'T CARE WHAT PEOPLE THINK" as long as we are happy
But those words still hurt & now I keep having these little words & thoughts in my head that I am fighting with.
- you should care about your self
-you do need to cut & die your hair
- your tennis shoes are older than your marriage
-your close is so out dated
- you used to go get your nails done all the time
- you used to have a pair of shoes for every purse
- you used to have perfumes for every day of the week & then some
- what happened ?

SHE of course looks & smells like she just stepped out of the beauty spa all the time & so does her hubby & cute precious daughter.

I know, I know! beauty is passing & charm is deceitful but a woman who loves the Lord she shall be praised!
I know I just feel so BLAHHHH now! & I don't feel very praise worthy


  1. I am SO glad you found the ring.

    As far as that woman, I know how you feel. I was the "poor" kid in school, who was dressed in raggedy hand me downs. It was so embarrassing to be picked on. I am so sorry you are going through all of this. The economy sucks so bad. :(

  2. Marie - I knew a foster mom who had a foster daughter who would constantly rub in the fact that she had 'assets' to the biological daughter. One day the biological daughter looked at her and sai, "God gave some people boobs and some people brains. I'm glad He gave me brains' Sounds like your friend got short changed in the 'brains' department too!

  3. I can’t even imagine how bad you must have felt when that woman criticized you like that, and in front of your kids! But what I’m left with after reading your post is this: never mind what you may be lacking in shoes or hairstyles, that lady has some serious problems! I know her words hurt you, but think about it... Any person who would say stuff like that must be so insecure about her own self that she needs to pick on someone who appears to be weaker, so she will feel stronger, more superior. No decent, caring human would say something like that. So you know she’s just full of s**t. Don’t let her get under your skin. I’ll bet that you, even in all your heartache and humble circumstances, have a richer life than she does, where it counts.

  4. Marie, this is the first time I've commented on your blog, but I've been reading for a while now. The people before me are right and I know you know this but you seem to have a heart of gold. You all have been through something indescribable in losing Elijah. Please know that through this blog your true heart comes shining through and you are beautiful!!!!! Don't let someone who obviously needs help tear you down. It is only Satan attacking!!! (((((HUGS))))

  5. I am so glad you found the ring. That is the worst feeling in the world.... well except when people say things like that. I know that hurts, but those things are of this world and you are much more than that. I just wanted to tell you your strength with everything you have gone through this year has really inspired me. I know you are a wonderful mother to all your children and that is ALL that matters. When I was reading your blog I was thinking how could someone be so mean, but then it came to me that how sad a life that must be that the most important thing to her is how she looks. Don't worry about it, we all love you and so does your family!!

    By the way, thanks for your comment on my blog I really appreciate it!! I love that bible verse and have needed it. Thanks.

    Emma is 7 1/2 months old, although she is REALLY tiny for her age, but I always say someone has to be in the third % might as well be my kid. That way we actually get some use out of all her cute clothes!! :)

    Thanks again!