"T'is so sweet to trust in Jesus... HARD, yes VERY HARD & PAINFUL TOO! (in the flesh) but so sweet & refreshing to our souls when in the middle of the raging storm we hear Him whisper softly "I AM"! AMAZING LOVE, HOW CAN IT BE....I am about to share something I was going to keep to myself, but I truley believe with ALL my heart, mind & soul that SOME ONE NEEDS to hear this:
Some of you may know what I am about to share to a more personal level but for THE MANY who DO NOT know "HOW DEEP GOD'S TOUCH"here it goes:
I have been so transparent (maybe too much at times). I have written ALL my frustrations, my hurts, almost every emotion.
so this is to share what I have just learned through prayer time (just now)...
Steve & I are on this blog because, on Feb 13, 2008 we found out Elijah had an illness that would take him way too soon. I never knew that morning "HOW DEEPLY GOD'S TOUCH" would come upon our lives and change forever the course of our lives in every way.
With that news I became so devastated, although I remained strong fro quite some time. My prayer life changed, my faith changed, my marriage changed, the way I viewed things changed, my kids changed, my friendships & family relationships changed. Soon it all began to become evident in every area of our lives that GOD was doing "something BIG", something painful yet so precious.
You all know this road has been so hard (to put it mildly)
BUT TONIGHT!!!! Tonight during a moment of intimacy with MY LORD, MY SAVIOR, MY JESUS.... He revealed to me "HOW DEEP, GOD'S TOUCH".
See YOU ALL have read that we are in such a deep, desperate financial crisis!
THE AMAZINGLY, WONDERFUL NEWS is that tonight, as I was laying with 'Siah and praying he fell asleep. I wept before GOD, in my spirit & HE GAVE ME A GLIMPS of "HOW DEEP GODS TOUCH"
I am not saying IT is all PERFECT! On the contrary; because
- Steve is still getting really great job leads with high recommendations, Almost a guarantee by people who do the hiring! AND YET, no job!! = "HIS TIMING"!
- I am dealing with an overwhelming load of emotions that it has started to inhibit my ability to function to my fullest capacity in many areas of my life = ???
- 'Siah is processing and dealing with the reality of DEATH at such a young age = ???
- Kay is dealing with our sitaution, and having quite a difficult time doing so (on top of "THIS" she also has an entirly different life she lives at her moms & by the way her little cousin is fighting cancer *(PLEASE PRAY FOR JANET'S NIECE) = ???
- Our marriage of only almost five years has endured so much stress, grief & heart ache that I often wonder HOW we are still woven so tightly together!= "HIS WILL"
- This house we are in is a miracle in itself because we have been behind on our rent for so long now that IT IS ONLY BY HIS MERCY that we still have a roof over our heads and a home in which our K & 'Si are able to sleep safely. I pray every night & morning for God to Please touch our landlords heart so that he doesn't come to give us another notice & we still don't know if tomorrow morning we get it but for now we have a place = "HIS MERCY"
- Our transportation situation is, a plain miracle of God that it is still mobile and how it passed smog is beyond me. = "HIS PROVISION"
- Our utilities are being paid by the income I am able to bring in, but I have been on a medical leave for 2 weeks = ???
- In Kay's very own words to us last night with tears all over her precious sweet face, "but it is one thing after another and on top of those things more stuff and more stuff just keeps piling up on us and we are all so hard! It is so hard" = PAIN for us because we have no answers
GOD HAS TOUCHED OUR LIVES SO DEEPLY and for this and through this we will be renewed and He will restore to us the Joy of our first love! He will make a way where there is no path, He is mighty to save, He is with us in the valleys, His Touch will keep us, His love is amazing!!
*I will not fear of tomorrow for you are with me your rod & your staff they comfort me.
* In my weakness You are strong.
Thats all :D much love to all of you who continue to love & support us with your kind words on this journey & I am anticipating how else Christ will prove himself so real in the lives of my children, my husband and myself!
HOW DEEP GOD'S TOUCH = ? or !