NOT TODAY

We brought home everything from the cemetery last Saturday because it was mowing day. Last night I made a beautiful lush fall foliage wreath with a huge gold bow.

This morning we went into Fowler (Marshall School) then to Parlier(cemetery & mom's house)

Steve asked if I wanted to go to the cemetery first or moms first. F.Y.I -It would make more sense to go to the cemetery first because we were coming from Adams Avenue. The cemetery is BEFORE mom's from Adams Ave.

I said, "mom's house." Steve was surprised. He drove right passed the cemetery and kept looking towards 'Lijah's spot. We got to mom's & I took the wreath in to show her. We stayed for lunch and then I said, "lets go home now". We packed up 'Si & buckled him. We sat quietly for a minute and Steve asked, "Are we gonna go?" "Ummmm... not today", I said. "okay"he said & we drove home.

I couldn't do it - I don't know why. I just couldn't do it... ~not today~
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Yeah, it is a bit of a bum deal for Holiday Scheduling. For BOTH families. Mostly for my Kake though, she always feels like she is missing out. Steve is missing her alot today he keeps wondering what she is doing. I still haven't made that bread we were gonna make either. I will though, I have to - It is what I'm taking to Ben & Minn's for Thanksgiving.

Cindy's gonna go to Texas for Christmas. She came over last night. It was fun! we laughed and talked & laughed some more. I got the courage to tell her I was feeling panicky about her not being here for Christmas. (we will be okay :~)
She is also gonna miss Josiah's 3rd birthday on December 27th. IT will be a very small cake celebration at home I am sure!

My heart is some what heavy today, I want so much for Elijah to be with me for Thanksgiving. Last year at Thanksgiving I had just found out we were having a baby & I was so excited to be pregnant for the Holiday's KNOWING that by Holidays 2008 I would have a chubby 5 almost 6 month old to feed mashed potatoes to and we would be loaded down with walker, high chair, sippy cup. ~ not today~