It's beginning to feel alot like CHRISTMAS!

And Here we are; Just walked into church and took 2 pictures (please notice the picture where I am wearing my coat) I pulled one of our ornaments off the tree this morning - just as we walked out the door. It is a picture of my ~'Lijah~

Also my sweet princess would like YOU ALL to NOTICE her & her brother are 'matching'
If it were up to her, she would have us matching like this all the time [seriously] we have to try to get her dressed before we step out or else she will stay in the room longer; trying hard to find 'something that matches' all of us
SO TODAY SHE WAS A LITTLE BIT MORE THAN PLEASED; SHE WAS ECSTATIC

T'was the night before Christmas[at church]

T'was the night before Christmas

and all through the house

the girls gathered round

pinning curls on our heads

to wear with a bow!

The boys bringing ties out to match with the girls

Must have a white T-shirt just like my dad

Our shoes we have brought out

which now need some shining

to match with those girls!

The clothes all layed out

each pant lay with its shirt & tie

while each shoe lay by our fancy black tights!

And all through the house the busyness of Christmas

brought aching thoughts of our 'Lijah

to all of our hearts!

As the children lay sleeping
Mommy & Daddy worked hard on that pressing & shining

preparing for day break

which soon will appear!

WE LOVE YOU SWEET ~'LIJAH~

Daddy, Mommy, Kakie & 'Si

will have thoughts of you

as we listen for songs

You are sure to be singing

With all of the Angels

Like 'Hark The Herald & Glory To God'

Merry 1st Christmas

Little Angel

WITH ALL OF OUR LOVE!

And Here's what we did today

O.M.G today was so busy!!! crazy busy!! mom & us were having a Christmas yard sale - boutique type of thing - she was selling crafts & curios for Christmas & I was selling BOWS :~) Beth has Logan & Nannah [her step kids from 1st marriage - she divorced their father not the children & the children have no real contact with the dad & yes, Tony is fine with it :~)] visiting for Christmas. They have not been here since almost a year. Logan had managed to get a hold of his moms cell phone, saw Beth's picture in his moms phone & pushed a button and ended up calling Beth(for over a week) he called every morning between 8-10 a.m would say nothing & Beth did not recognize the number so she would not return the call - Finally, Thursday she got another call & decided this time she would call back. She did & heard a little boy. She asked who is it & he replied, "PICK ME UP!" she knew immediately who it was :~) So, now they are here to visit for the weekend :~)

Kayla & Logan trying out their swingOf Course Josiah's ALL time Favorite Pass Time (worship)
Logan swinging & yelling like tarzan

After this we ate tacos then me & the kids ran to church for practice. 'Si stayed home with Steve. His class already had practice on Wednesday!

After Practice we got back Mom, Beth, Tony & the kids left.

LONG DAY

THE GIVE AWAY... ...

okay every one, so we ended up getting several emails saying, "it is a busy season & the scavenger hunt is a bit much. Thanks for letting us know your feelings - THANK YOU BECKY FOR BEING THE ONLY ONE WHO TOOK TIME TO DO THIS HUNT HOWEVER, since it is a busy season LET'S MAKE IT FASTER & EASIER :~)

WE REALLY DO WANT TO GIVE AWAY SOME BOWS, IN FACT WE ARE SENDING A COUPLE OUT TO SOME FRIENDS ALREADY BUT STILL WANT TO SEE WHO ELSE WE CAN SEND SOME TO!!!

SOOOOOOOOOOOOOO... ...
NEW RULES FOR GIVE- A-WAY:
just post a comment telling us about your special 'fancy little girly girls' and get as many people to post a comment or send an email to stv.mre@gmail.com nominating your 'special some one' then on the 23rd at 7:00 p.m. we will pick the three winners!!!
so hurry & get those names in!!

*********We hope this makes it much easier!!!!*****
Oh & again sorry Becky cause you were the only one who took your time to do the scavenger hunt (we had not considered how time consuming this would actually would be) SORRY :) & YES, I do sell them. Email me at stv.mre@gmail.com and we can correspond that way as far as me sending you the exact pictures of bows and pricing. (We just want to keep this blog about our lives since 'Lijah came into our hearts) I hope you all understand :)
Yes, there are different prices they range between $1.oo - $5.oo.
I had actually not thought about making a BOW BLOG but that is a great idea!!

AGAIN WE BOTH APPRECIATE ALL THE EMAILS with ideas and honest opinions :~)

OUR INTENT WAS JUST TO HAVE A WAY TO GIVE SOMETHING & HAVE FUN DOING IT :)

HOLY NIGHT @ Camp Douglas

Steve & I were talking about our families values & traditions earlier in the week. We were making a checklist to see what are the areas we can improve on. We were talking about how we feel we are raising our kids. After recieving the "blessings of this week" we decided we needed to talk to our children about the gift of giving. We had a family meeting & discussed all the things we were given. We each took turns saying what we have ben blessed with and how can give of ourselves. After a very LONG list of gifts we have been given[house, food, warmth, jackets, new friends, Thomas The Train]you know who said that one!) Steve began to tell Kakie & 'Si how because Jesus blesses us with gifts & blessings then we need to give to others. We were explaining how this years toy drive at church was at an all time low & tomorrow is the food/toy give away in Fowler. So that we needed to bless a boy & girl "who[might] not even have a Christmas tree! Kayla said, "or a warm house" Steve told the kids that they were going to go to the store & each pick out a $5.00 toy. 'Si asked, "for me?" Steve explained no bubba for "the little boy with no Christmas tree". "Why?" he asked & I [trying to help Steve out] explained, "Josiah ,Jesus has sent us friends to give us blessings & now it is our turn to give somthing!

... ... ... Wouldn't You Know It; he said[very serious] "BUT MOMMY- WE READY GIVE MY 'LIJAH"

*sighing* crying* (not then - now!) ugh! Thank YOU Jesus for giving us the words.
talk about heart wrenching. We went to the store and they picked out toys. Kakie, of course knew what this was all about & she is SO giving so she was really enjoying it - Josiah was enjoying picking the toy but everytimne we reminded him it was for 'that special little boy' he would stare at the toiy hug it and then keep on looking. At one point he said, "Oh mommy I like this one!!" Steve reminded him again, "remember it is not your toy".
He said," I know daddy -but he want to be my friend & we play together peacause I like to play for the toy with the little boy & share my tree too".

Kakie & I had Christmas Choir practice. When we got home we ate pizza for dinner @ 'camp douglas' after dinner Steve & I had planned to surprise the kids with a brand new CHRISTMAS TRADITION - We turned down the lights, turnedoff the T.V, turned on the Christmas CD & Steve began to read the Christmas story out of Luke 2:8 after the reading of the holy word. I went into my Hutch and brought one of my PRIZED COLLECTION NATIVITIES & let the kids each take turnes holding it and talk about the birth of our Savior. (both kids were shocked when I handed them my 'special' glass nativity set! I sat back and let them enjoy holding each piece. They both made observations about how cold it must have been, how smelly it nust have been, how itchy it must have been and then after a good long while of that. Steve said, "Okay now Mommy & I have a very special way to celebrate the meaning of Christmas. HE closed their eyes and we went into our bedroom, we threw a sheet & blanket ove rour heads and wrapped a baby doll up & walked into the tree lit room singing ~ Silent Night~ It was so precious! I cried as I saw K begin to tear up. After finishing the entire song we took off the sheets and asked the kids if they wanted a turn!!!! they did!!!

SO HERE GOES THE GIVE AWAY!!!

Let's make it a scavenger hunt(of sort)!!!

#1) Find a Person that YOU know who's name is Marie or Steve

you post a comment with that persons name & home town, if they post a comment & mention YOUR name you have just entered twice :~)

#2) My Dream places to visit - Italy to ride the gondolas & in USA, Maine because I have read so much about those beautiful light houses.

you post a comment if YOU have ever lived (or visited) there or know some one who has/does if they post a comment &mention your name you have entered twice(use last name or city/town name to differentiate you from others with common names)

#3) Tell us about the deserving 'fancy girl' who will wear these bows if you post a link for us to see her you entered twice

#4) THE LAST ONE...have as many people as you can post a comment on our blog telling us why YOUR 'fancy' girl' should win the set of 3 head bands/clips and four interchangeable bows

we will select the top three to have the most comments meeting the criteria above :~)
~good luck & have fun~

START NOW till the 23rd [MY TIME] @ 7:00a.m we will announce the TOP 3 winners @ 7 :00 p.m on the same day!!!

!BUENA SUERTE!

LOOK!!!!

A small selection of the bows I am making. In the spirit of giving, I would like to host a give away!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I am not exactly sure how I want to do the give a way but I want to make it fun! Steve & I were talking about different ways of making it fun - DO any of you have any ideas???

I love working on these bows. I can just let my creativity go & enjoy some serene moment of Peace!!

These are perfect for all your pretty little princesses!!

PLEASE STAY TUNED FOR MORE DETAILS REAL SOON!!! For sure we want to do 1st, 2nd & 3rd place. So a total of three give aways :~)

Any one interested in playing some sort of something for some FREE bows for your 'fancy little ladies' ?!?!!????!!!???

let me know!

Moriah's 1st "visit" (without mommy, daddy & granny)

Here are some pictures of what we can do when Mommy & Daddy AREN'T hovering!!

Josiah wass acctually more free to be around her & I wasn't as nervous that Moriah's daddy would get paranoid l.o.l :) He loves her so much!! He would have been a great big brother to 'Lijah. He sings the lullaby from Lady & The Tramp to her!

AND CAN YOU TELL I AM HAVING FUN WITH MY CAMERA :~)

WE FOUND IT!!!! and... ... ... I just to vent

WELL THANK THE GOOD LORD ABOVE!!! WE FOUND THE RING! after tearing the house apart piece by piece and NOT getting to bed til 2 a.m.
My mom called @ 7:30 to see if we were up? She could tell i was asleep, so she said I will just go back to Parlier. (She had brought Tony to work in Selma) I went back to bed[exhausted]. We got up @ 8 and I was still crying. Steve just kept telling me, "it's not your fault".
I decided to call Tracy. She had just finished praying with me & my phone beeped. It was mom. She said I got it!!
WHAT!? HOW?!?!
well Steve had picked lemons for her to take home. She decided to take each lemon out of the bag one at a time and wash them to put in a bowl on her kitchen table. She took the last lemon out & saw an orange lump at the bottom of the bag. She says, she new it had to be the ring[covered in masa] she said she prayed oh Lord let it be the ring and s she ran it under the water the diamonds began to sparkle!!!
STEVE IS SO HAPPY, not to mention me toooooo!!
THANKS FOR ALL YOUR PRAYERS & WORDS OF ENCOURAGEMENT!!
HE STILL HEARS OUR CRIES FOR HELP! HE IS OUR REFUGE & STRENGTH!!

%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%
* I was trying to just let it roll right off my back - let it go. I email a very dear friend of mine to tell her, like just to get it off my chest type of thing and it happened AGAIN so now I just gotta blog this. IT IS CRAZY!

okay so now, I just really need to vent. So last week Kakie & I went to Wal-Mart to get some punch for Steve's B-Day lunch. We ran into a family we know. SHE, 'THE WIFE' [to remain nameless] asked me oh, so how old is Steve turning. I told her 35. SHE said oh wow that's still young, so then why do you guys look so old & wasted. The husband got embarrassed & tried to help by saying, OH they look like that because of Elijah. [okay- thank you] Then she said something else and Kakie says MY MOMS NOT OLD they do cry but they are not wasted.
her little daughter said something too. I was so shocked embarrassed & upset I did not know what to say or how to get away. Finally we left.

CAN YOU BELIEVE I RAN IN TO HER AGAIN & AGAIN SHE SAID STUPID THINGS TO ME!!
Uggghh!!

This time (yesterday) we are at Food Max and SHE says oh Hi!!! I wanted to ignore her so bad & can you believe it SHE said, "What are you doing?" I said just shopping. She starts to look at me from top to bottom & says:
"OH too bad they don't sell makeovers! ha! ha! ha! - man I told 'hubby'[to remain nameless] I told him man I hope we never look like that when we turn 35. So yeah you should ask Steve to buy you new clothes & get your hair died & stuff cause you look alot older than 35. I always think I gotta look good for my family to be proud of me!! I mean Marie your kids always look good but you & Steve shouldn't look as old as you do. You just need a new hair style & a new make up look & maybe get your nails done YOU WILL FEEL SO MUCH HAPPIER!! like look at your tennis shoes those are way out of style and they look real old too. I am just saying do something to make yourself look & feel better & the same for Steve!!"

I was staring at the green beans the entire time, till her husband came around the corner after just enough time to tear down my self esteem & rip me to shreds!!
He says oh hi! Hows it going? I was fighting back the tears so bad & Josiah says "momma shoes are old" and he just giggled (unaware of what had just happened) I said well I gotta go. I did not even finish my shopping. Josiah kept asking me "You wash you shoes momma?" "You uh make up momma?" I could not speak! We walked out of the grocery store and put 'SI in the car seat and got in the car & buckled up. I sat there tears streaming down my face. I started the car & turned on the radio so 'Si could start singing
I kept shouting at myself in silence!! "IT DOESN'T MATTER! MATERIALISTIC THINGS DO NOT MATTER TO YOU" I kept hearing Steve telling me, "DON'T CARE WHAT PEOPLE THINK" as long as we are happy
But those words still hurt & now I keep having these little words & thoughts in my head that I am fighting with.
- you should care about your self
-you do need to cut & die your hair
- your tennis shoes are older than your marriage
-your close is so out dated
- you used to go get your nails done all the time
- you used to have a pair of shoes for every purse
- you used to have perfumes for every day of the week & then some
- what happened ?

I HATE HAVING THESE THOUGHTS IN MY HEAD!!
SHE of course looks & smells like she just stepped out of the beauty spa all the time & so does her hubby & cute precious daughter.

I know, I know! beauty is passing & charm is deceitful but a woman who loves the Lord she shall be praised!
I know I just feel so BLAHHHH now! & I don't feel very praise worthy

MAJOR PANIC/ANXIETY ATTACK!!

I lost Steve's wedding band!! I know, I already lost a child; how could a ring cause a panic attack? I DON'T KNOW!! BUT IT HAS!! I can't find the ring any where. We were alone making tamales. I told him to take off his ring. He gave it to me. I can't remember anything more. I was having a very bad morning. My blood pressure was sky high & my head was pounding. I was not wanting to make tamales becasue I felt sick. My head was pounding. Steve & I started to spread the masa on the tamales & I felt like the masa needed something. I calle dmom to come & check it out for me. She said she was at an appointment, she would be here later. Josiah was jumping off the couches and I got upset. Steve told me to stop making the tamales. I covered the bowl with masa and left the table. Steve went outside with Josiah.

Ohhhhhh Steve is so mad, he is so beyond upsete he is not talking he is just pacing & sighing. I feel dizzy, I can't stop shaking. I feel like throwing up. I feel sick, my head hurts so bad. My arms feel itchy & my mind is a complete blur.

I was so tense, Steve told me to go pick up what we needed at wal-mart. I left. I went to walmart the store was horribly packed. I left the store I was still having a horrible headache. I went to Office Max, talked to Daniel walked out got in the car and drove home - I can't even remember what I did when I got here. Mom got here she looked at the masa & started working on the tamales with Steve. I was very dizzy & my head hurt. I could not concentrate.

I feel so sick. SOME BODY PLEASE PRAY!! I will never be able to replace that ring!! I men literally, we have no money. I had that ring custom ordered to match mine & even my wedding set is a custom order. I will never be able to save enough money to do that again!!!
OH MY GOD!!
I can't believe this
I feel so ...
I better go
I need to do something
PLEASE PRAY PLEASE
OH GOD PLEASE JUST LET MY MIND REMEMBER WHAT I DID WITH THAT RING!!
PLEASE PRAY -
I know it's just a ring but I feel awful
I feel like I am going to throw up.
Oh Holy Spirit please help me find that ring.
STEVE HAS NEVER TAKEN THAT RING OFF HIS FINGER SINCE MARCH 5, 2005 NEVER!!
I am so stupid! why did I make him take it off!!
Steve is so upset. I can't even beging to tell you how upset he is.
He isn't talking at all. he is as white as snow.
he keeps pacing and sighing.
he won't say anything!!
he jsut won't stop looking around every inch of this house
he just went throughall the trash piece by piece.
I am breaking out in hives.
He just sat down inthe living room and turned off the lights.
I wish he would at least yell at me or tell me how stupid & irresponsible I am.

DO YOU KNOW?

any one out there wanna fill me on how I can change the pictures on the side bar of my blog. Like I want to update the pictures.
If any one can instruct me on how to do this I WILL FOREVER BE SO HAPPILY THANKFUL TO YOU!!! :)

Josh put these in for us whenever he set us up on the blog. I am pretty sure he did not pay anything to add these pic's (I have tried to change them by clicking on them but nothing happens & whenever I click the add image icon it puts the pics in my post not on the side bar)

This is Josh's senior year & he is so busy - he has not had a chance to even get Beth her wedding pic's yet so I know he will not have time to come and show me or do it for me.

BUT if it costs money then I am fine with the pictures we have up :) I just thought since I have really nice pic's we took at the pumpkin patch & the kids are older now too!!

So if any one has any ideas(on how to do this) let me know!!!

MORE CHRISTMAS DECORATION PIC'S

THE TREE ^


MAKING THE STOCKINGS ^



KAYLA ROCKIN!!! ^

MUSTARD SMILES ugh!!! ikkie!! ^

hangin out at 'Camp Douglas'

HERE IS 'Lijah's Stocking

I FIGURED OUT THE CAMERA

HERE ARE A SOME OF THE PICTURES OF US DECORATING OUR HOUSE FOR CHRISTMAS THIS PASSED WEEKEND


Me & 'Si getting bulbs ready



A CHRISTMAS KISS (Kayla took this shot)

MOM ROCKIN AROUND THE CHRISTMAS TREE (another Kakie Shot)

PEEK- A BOO!! (MY FAVORITE!)

Kakie & 'Si Rockin around the Christmas tree!!

Rockin Around the Christmas Tree is our Traditional Family Christmas Song!!

We started this Tradition when we just had Kakie, acctually we started this tradition whenever Steve & I were engaged & I lived in my apartment. Steve & Kakie came over to help me decorate my tree. December 2004 Our first Christmas together - I just ran into those pictures earlier tonight.

"GO TELL IT ON THE MOUNTAINS"

* OUR FAMILIES VERY OWN CHRISTMAS ANGELS (from all around the world)!!!

Luke 2:8-20 (21st Century King James Version)
8And there were in the same country shepherds abiding in the field, keeping watch over their flock by night.
9And lo, the angel of the Lord came upon them, and the glory of the Lord shone round about them, and they were sore afraid.
10And the angel said unto them, "Fear not, for behold, I bring you good tidings of great joy, which shall be to all people.
11For unto you is born this day in the City of David a Savior, who is Christ the Lord.
12And this shall be a sign unto you: Ye shall find the Babe wrapped in swaddling clothes, lying in a manger."
13And suddenly there was with the angel a multitude of the heavenly host praising God and saying,
14"Glory to God in the highest, and on earth peace, good will toward men!"
15And it came to pass, when the angels were gone away from them into heaven, the shepherds said one to another, "Let us now go even unto Bethlehem and see this thing which has come to pass, which the Lord hath made known unto us."
16And they came with haste and found Mary and Joseph, and the Babe lying in a manger.
17And when they had seen it, they made known abroad the saying which was told them concerning this Child.
18And all those who heard it wondered at those things which were told them by the shepherds.
19But Mary kept all these things and pondered them in her heart.
20And the shepherds returned, glorifying and praising God for all the things that they had heard and seen, as it was told unto them.

We have no words. We are humbly honored by the kindness which has been extended out to our family. I would like to take "THIS" opportunity to share with you about a loving Savior;
THEE CHRIST, MESSIAH! Born to us for redemtion, salvation & life!! I know that right now the economy is bad all over, some more than others!

As you read this post you may not be ones going through financial hardship but a different kind of hardship, perhaps a marriage, a relationship, unsaved children, court preceeedings - things of this life which weigh heavy upon your heart. Maybe you to are facing the holiday season without one of your loved ones.

Maybe everything is going right for you but you just can't figure out why you feel the longing in your heart.
[ever since we found out about Elijah's "smartness" & the fact that he would be in heaven very soon, I have gotten emails & telephone calls telling me that we are a bit on the fanatical side]
WE ARE, we are fanatically dependent on a Savior to reedeem us & bring forth all of His promises! ~Diamonds are precious stones brought forth through a process from a dirty black hard rock~ OUR PROMISES FOR OUR LIVES ARE BROUGHT FORTH IN THE SAME MANNER.
[during 'Lijah's funeral service we sang 'WORSHIP' Steve & I saw how some of the people were looking at us - as if unable to comprehend how we could utter the words ' our hearts will choose to say blessed be your name, You give & take away']
WE DO, we utter those words on a daily basis. I have shared with you all the various trials which we have faced after Elijah went to heaven.

I would like to take this time to encourage you - whatever state you find yourself in whether in bounty or in lack; If YOU are the ONE reading this today & YOU have that longing or emptiness in your heart - Please take this time to pray with me; ask OUR WONDERFUL SAVIOR TO COME INTO YOUR HEART & INTO YOUR CIRCUMSTANCE; Lord I ask you to come to me as I come to you. I come to you with all my brokenness. I am tired of trying on my own strength. I need your help today. I come to you and acknowledge my faults, my sin and the things I have done against You & others. I ask you to forgive me and send me the gift of your Spirit that I may be empowered to live a life that strives daily to please you. I want to honor You as Lord & Savior of my life, my finances, my relationships, my children & most importantly I want to know you better, to grow & walk closer to you, AMEN!

So Steve & I have faced various types of trails & we know that LIFE brings about struggles, daily. BUT WE KNOW ONE WHO IS FAITHFUL TO HIS PROMISES!!
Our children have been blessed with love & prayers & also they have received material blessings as well. Back in October, A family blessed us with clothing for our children (right on time for the change of weather) Since then we have been blessed with financial gifts, which have allowed us to buy home essentials such as toilet paper, shampoo & other stuff like that. This family has blessed us in SO many ways!! & NOW, TODAY we received an envelope from some other families which also blessed us with a financial gift. The gift we received was exactly the amount of one months rent!! WOW!!! PRAISE THE LORD!! We have been selling tamales & bows to make ends meet. GOD SAW THE NEED & HE MET IT!!! I am so grateful to God FOR ALL OF YOU WHO HAVE BEEN SO FREE TO GIVE OF THAT WHICH YOU HAVE WORKED SO VERY HARD TO EARN & THEN TO JUST RELEASE IT INTO THE HANDS OF PEOPLE YOU ONLY KNOW THROUGH THE BLOG!!! WE ARE SO VERY, VERY blessed! ALL of these families have given a gift to us - the gift of keeping our faith & trust in A GOOD GOD!! Things have been pretty rough but GOD has been bigger than that. Tonight Steve & I will sleep with such a peace in our hearts that the rent has been paid!! God knows the other needs & he promises in His word that HE will make a way where there seems to be no way!! Each of your families have blessed us! We opened the envelope & tears ran down our face as we counted & counted & counted the money & saw how GOD brought us exactly what we were lacking & because of YOU we will be able to stay in our home!!

There is absolutely no way that Steve & I could ever repay what you ALL[ all of you from every place in this world] have done for us, BUT WE KNOW THE ONE WHO SEE'S ALL YOU HAVE DONE & HIS WORD SAY'S, " WHAT YOU HAVE DONE TO THE LEAST OF THESE YOU HAVE DONE UNTO ME" HE takes into account every thing you have sacrificed to bless us in the abundant manner in which you have blessed us & HE IS THE REWARDER!! May His perfect peace abound much in your heart & home today & always!!

Steve & I share this to speak on the goodness of a GREAT GOD, WORTHY OF ALL PRAISE & GLORY & HONOR!! THAT THIS SAME GOD BE WITH YOU!!

GLORY TO GOD IN THE HIGHEST!!!

Another Time In Another Place

I searched for the words of this song; as my heart is so heavy today. Today is THE 15th. Steve's B-Day. He has hardley talked today. He is missing his 'bubba'. He got a gift yesturday @ the party that brought up pain which he had tucked deep within his heart(too long & emotional to go in to details right now).
TODAY was Noah's funeral, Today The 15th 'Shua's momma carries a bbgirl in her tummy & holds a sweet girls hand while her heart is aching for her 9month old 'Shua. TODAY Asher & Issac's mommy & Jacob's mommy & Eva's mommy along with so many others are longing for 'that sweet sweet someday
(THIS IS THE SONG BY SANDI PATTI)
I've always heard there is a landBeyond the mortal dreams of manWhere every tear will be left behindBut it must be in another timeThere'll be an everlasting lightShining a purest holy whiteAnd every fear will be erasedBut it must be in another placeSo, I'm waiting for another time and another placeWhere all my hopes and dreams will be capturedWith one look at Jesus' faceOh, my heart's been burnin'My soul keeps yearnin'Sometimes I can't hardly waitFor that sweet, sweet somedayWhen I'll be swept awayTo another time and another placeI've grown so tired of earthly thingsThey promise peace but furnish painAll of life's sweetest joys combinedCould never match those in another timeAnd though I've put my trust in ChristAnd felt His Spirit move in my lifeI know it's truly just a tasteOf His glory in another place
I took these today right after I read Susie's blog. The view from my front porch. This is how the sky looked the day my Sister called to tell me 'Shua had gone home to Jesus. Steve & I were driving alone from Sanger back to Parlier. Our cell phone rang. I was pregnant with 'Lijah & when I answered the phone Minerva said, Susie posted... I said okay(no emotion) as soon as I hung up Steve said, "Joshua?!". I nodded. no words- no feelings and then I looked up into the sky, the puffy white clouds & tears began to run down my cheeks and I cried out, "Oh Joshua... ... You are home- sweet baby boy- you are home! Rubbing my 'Lijah belly I said, "Elijah your bubba Joshua is waiting for you now - he will be there soon Joshua - Thank you for living, Thank YOU for teaching me about my Elijah sweet boy".

TODAY as my sweet hubby's heart is aching along with all the other daddy's who long for their baby's; I dedicate this post to:

~JOSHUA MATTHEW SAMS~

Susie - YOU, MATT & OCE taught us how to love our cele baby!!! Joshua's pictures prepared my Kakie & 'Siah for what our precious 'Lijah would look like! 'Shua you were 'Lijah's very 1st friend!!! Our entire extended family knows you as our bubbas 1st buddy!!!

Susie,THANK YOU; can never express how deeply we appreciate all you have shared with us !!!

One of the things I whispered into 'Lijah's ear when he was taking his last breaths was,

"your friend Joshua is there, waiting by the BIG TREE, on the STREETS OF GOLD- he is there with Grandma Chicken & Grandpa Pato. I think Baby Asher & his Big brother Issac & Baby Eva will take you to the crystal river- they are all right their waiting. You will love heaven it is a beautiful place & soon we will all be together, someday"

'My hearts been burning my soul keeps yerning'






'That sweet, sweet someday'

'where all my hopes & dreams will be captured with one look at Jesus face'

'Sometimes I can't hardly wait'

I know that the probabilities of any of us meeting before that sweet, sweet some day are almost nothing & although meeting face to face & embracing would be so sweet. I want to thank ALL of you & your precious families for being a part of our lifes journey.

Look what I can(not) DO (very well)!!

Here is a picture I took with our NEW camera!!!! Thank YOU so much for our blessing :~)
This is the view from our front fence.THIS ONE IS a close up of 'Lijah's monie on our tree

The kids are having fun making a HUGE mess while I cleaned up for the lunch party. Kakie (that's how she wants her nickname spelled - SHE TOLD ME TODAY :~0) She & 'Si were painting!!!!! & NO that is not a bloody nose! IT'S RED PAINT. NOT too sure how he managed that!
BUT THIS IS THEIR "CLEAN" picture of their project 8>) l.o.l

I still can't figure out where all the beautiful pictures are at; the ones that we took last night before the batteries died.

I should probably take a class on how to retrieve these pic's cause I was also trying to include pic's of how our decorations throughout the house turned out. BUT it's late or I should say EARLY... oh it's sunday morning already!!!

& Steve & I are still up. The menudo & posole are cooking. The house is ready for guests & I can't find these pictures so I better get to bed cause we have to be at church at 9:30. I wanna find those pictures!!!!

oh well I better let it go for now.

HOPE YOU ENJOYED THESE PICTURES!!!!

Honestly, Ashamed & Disapointed!!!

Tonight after dinner we all got started on our yearly tree decorating traditions. Mexican Hot Chocolate, Mexican Sweet Bread, Christmas Carrol's, Stockings & decorations.

I don't even know where to begin... ... ...

I have always prided myself in being honest and tonight is no different. I must confess; my attitude & behavior were less than inappropriate on such a special night for our family.

Everything was going just right. Music, songs, dancing, laughing, and Yes the usual little ornament/decoration mal-functions that happen whenever you put a 3 year old a 10 year old & 1 perfectionist parent & 1master at everything parent on the same tree lighting project!! l.o.l

The stockings were hung (after several attempts), the tree was almost full - we had gotten wonderful pictures which I was going to post BUT, our brand new digital camera we were BLESSED with decided to call it a night, earlier than expected (batteries died & we had no extras) SO rather than being a well spirited mommy @ Christmas Tree Night & just letting it slide, I began to get annoyed. I kept thinking about all the silly- goofy pictures we took, which used up the batteries.

Everything looked just splendid! and I was still more than okay! The tree was perfect, the stockings hung, the music was playing & ... ... ... JOSIAH had fallen asleep on the couch (in my mind he was supposed to stay awake for everything)

NOW WAS THE TIME WE HAD DESIGNATED to put up 'Lijah's monie(pacifier) and picture as tree ornaments.
WE HAD PLANNED ON PLAYING HIS VIDEO while listening to soft Christmas music & take pictures. THE DVD PLAYER BROKE RIGHT AS STEVE WAS PUTTING IN THE VIDEO. & 'Si was asleep!!!

I was so frustrated. I got upset & was very short fused with Steve. Okay I was mean. He was trying so hard to find batteries for the camera & then I said just forget it. Whenever I say just forget it; It is as if I just cursed Steve out - He hates whenever I say forget it. I tried to shake it off and I said , "sweetie - don't worry about it lets just play his video before 'Siah falls completely asleep". THE STUPID THING BROKE!!!
Again, Steve tried hard, over & over to "FIX" the dvd player. By now I was just steaming*Ughhh*
I said, "Oh well! who cares? everything always goes wrong for us! what's new?" Steve got upset with me (rightfully so) Kayla was putting together some ribbons.

I went into my room and there on top of my bed was "The Box" from the hospital- with Elijah's monie. I began to cry. I opened the box pulled out his monie and right under it was his Hospital Birth Certificate with his foot prints. I was crying & missing him so much. My heart was just aching! I was holding his stuff when I noticed a very small card. I opened it and inside was a plastic bag, in it was My 'Lijah's lock of hair! Beautiful- Thick & dark.

I began to weep into my pillow. I heard Kayla say, "daddy- you shouldn't have gotten mad at mommy - we are all just missing 'Lijah we are all stressed because we wanted tonight to be PERFECT because he isn't here"
I heard Steve tell her she was right and that he was sorry. Steve came into our room & we held each other tight and cried with 'Lijah's lock of hair in hand.

I walked into the living room and Kayla greeted me with a big hug & a smile to warm any heart. She held me so tight and said, " it's okay mommy- we can take pictures tomorrow & we can watch his video later. " I hugged her and told her how sorry I was for the way I acted and that "I should not have reacted the way I did for materialistic things" WE ENDED UP HAVING A GOOD TIME WE all three stood in front of our tree hugging each other and placed 'Lijah's monie right in front of our tree.

I am so upset with myself. You would think that after all we have been through I would not allow myself to get so upset over petty little things!!! What happened to cherishing the moments. I just totally got caught up in the moment of mis-haps & did not handle it at all in a manner to be proud of. I am very ashamed at my behavior. I apologized again & again. Steve & Kay said "it's okay" but I don't feel that it is!! I should know better than to react that way!! how awful of me!... ... getting upset over dead batteries & a broken dvd player!!
I would have thought that after burying my newborn son I would have learned the value of life!!!
* UGGGHHHH* I could just kick myself!
Elijah wouldn't want me to behave that way!!!

Another Angel Has Joined Heavens Choir

Our friends;
Hank & Jolene Wall were blessed & Honored to carry
Noah Gabriel Wall
for nine months and some days.

Noah's Auntie Victoria replied to an email I sent her asking how they were all doing. Victoria informed me that they were scheduled to go into the Hospital on Thursday, December 11th for induction, at 7:00 a.m.

I just received another reply from Noah's Grandma:

Noah Gabriel Wall

was born

Friday, December 12, 2008

at

3:30 a.m.

he weighed

7lbs. 14 oz.

Noah went to Heaven before he left his mommy's tummy.

PLEASE KEEP THEM IN YOUR PRAYERS!!! & Stop by their blog to leave them some words of encouragement

Update on decorations & HUGE B-Day BLESSING!

First of all the tree was left on our door step around 5:30 (i think) I was at the store & Steve & 'Si were in the back room, when I walked through the front door they were both all giddy putting the pieces together. This is our first ever artificial tree!!! WHAT A BLESSING - thanks :~) Frank & Tracy!!

The tree was now standing & Steve sighed deeply & said, "I miss Kayla - she has never missed decorating the tree & this year we didn't get the tree in time for her to be here"

We found a small plastic grocery bag half filled with plastic ornaments. We decided to go to the grocery store to pick up some candy canes (thank God for our grocery card).

We came back from the store and found several (8)missed calls from Kayk's moms number. Our cordless phone was dead. We kept trying to charge it but Kayk kept calling in. We listened to one voice mail. She said, "Daddy it's Kayla. If you don't get these messages; I love you & Happy Birthday okay daddy - I love you & sorry if you don't get these messages. Please call me." We finally got the phone charged enough to and finally answer her incoming call. Steve told her the phone was dying & she said, "daddy please call my mom because I can go with you tomorrow" After about thirty minutes of letting the phone charge Steve called& talked to Kay's mom.

SHE IS GIVING US HER WEEKEND!!! SO THAT KAY CAN BE HOME FOR HER DADDY'S B-DAY LUNCH ON SUNDAY!!!!

Steve's 35th B-Day is Monday but I am making him Menudo & Posole for lunch on Sunday & inviting church friends & family over to help us celebrate his birthday!!!

Needles to say the tree decorating stopped - KAY WILL BE HERE TOMORROW & WE INTEND ON KEEPING THE TRADITION OF DECORATING TOGETHER!!!!

On a down note : Rhinestone died on Monday & Sherbet died this evening. I think after the new year if Steve finds a job & I get back to school we are gonna get her some fish & a small tank with a filter.She was a bit

disappointed to hear they were dead.

~ gotta share this *tear jerking moment*

So, like I mentioned this morning - Steve had brought in the tubs of decorations right? well before we went to get the candy canes. Steve was stringing the lights on the tree & I was putting up one of my nativity scene collection. Josiah was piddling around and he found the bin of stuff was now empty he was playing around with it for about 5 minutes, when suddenly he says, "I go to heaven with 'Lijah now" Steve & I both jerked our heads to look towards him and he looked at us with that look of ~ curiosity or mischief~ (not sure how to explain the look) any ways I asked him "what babe" (trying not to startle him by my expressions) Steve turned his head back to the tree as if he was not paying attention. Josiah looked at me & said, "I go to be with my 'Lijah now kay?!! I be soft okay- see? see? I can - I fit! - Jesus an pick me up from the 'special' crib - see like 'Lijah's"

*Uhhh* (tears streaming down my face now).

He was comparing the stupid rubber tub to Elijah's casket - the tub is small, so he must have remembered and since the lid was right there... ...

Ug=hhh - Steve & I were speechless but i managed to tell him, " oh that tub reminds you of 'Lijah's 'special crib' - oh yeah you are right it is sorta like that huh?" ( i was trying hard not to cry & figure out what to reply)

He said, "see momma I go now, I go be with 'Lijah" I said, " the tub is sorta like the 'special crib we put Lijah in , but we can not go with 'Lijah yet"

YES, he kept asking questions! Steve was on his knees in front of the tree (crying). I was ringing my hands together fighting back the tears - the LONG- inquisitive conversation ended after I finally said, " Mommy & Daddy don't know why- baby, but one day Jesus will show us okay! - now mommy needs to finish the thing... ( YEAH I SAID THE THING) what thing? I dont know! I was just trying to get this little man to stop talking so I could catch my breath - Oh I think that's when Steve piped out, "lets go buy candy canes for our tree"! (thanks baby- your the sweetest!)

Ughhh! that's all I gotta say about it all!! UGHHHHHH! & today baby Noah(on my side bar) was supposed to be born - I gotta go check on them. I hate to even wonder if Noah is still here or not!! UGGGgggghhh!

(crying & bit TRUSTING)

THE HOT GLUE GUN VERSION

Hello All!!!
I have just named myself the~ hot glue gun version~ of MARTHA STEWART!!!

So, yesterday was spent VERY-VERY BUSY making Tamales. We made & sold 20 dozen and boy were they YUMMY-SCRUMPCIOUS. By the end of the day I was BEYOND EXHAUSTED. PRAISE THE LORD we are getting pretty close to making the rent!!!!! GOD TRULY IS GRAND!!! HE WILL SUPPLY OUR EVERY NEED IN THAT WE ARE CONFIDENT- THOUGH WE CANNOT SEE HOW WE TRUST HIM!!!!

Okay-so we get back from bible study last night (yes! can you believe we went, even after a full day of tamale making) While we were at moms making tamales, Steve decided to put up moms Christmas Yard stuff. She gave us one of those huge inflatable snowmen!!!! ... ...

Yup! you guessed it Steve got started on putting up the snowman right as soon as we got home. Josiah was so tired, he had fallen asleep right as we drove up our drive way.

I said I was going to go to bed. I DIDN'T end up doing that but instead Steve brought in the bins of Christmas decorations and YES we began going through all our stuff. We have a beautiful collection of Nativity scenes that my mother in law has bought me every year since 2005! I have also added some myself!!! I love the nativity scene!!! Last year we did not get a tree. Yesterday Tracy & Frank told us they are giving us a tree!!! We have Nativity Scenes in those Christmas bins & those are our decorations. WE have some flowers & glass snowmen from my apartment before I got married. We have every thing EXCEPT tree decorations what a dud! We had gotten rid of all my glass ornaments from my apartment because we were afraid of 'Siah cutting himself.

We ended up getting side tracked with two old plastic Christmas table covers & some hearts & wreaths we use to take to the cemetery. We stayed up till 2:45 a.m making Christmas decorations for 'Lijah's place.

Woke up this morning to a MESSY living room full my beautiful collection of nativity scenes & some of my left over snowmen collection.

I found some curtains too! (mom gave them to me when we moved here) Then I remembered I need to weatherize the kids windows for the winter months. My idea was to put up a thicker curtain. I DO NOT have a sewing machine. MY MOM DOES & SHE SEWS very well too! but MARIE WAS NOT ABOUT TO BE PATIENT & WAIT, NO WAY!! So, I pulled out my hot glue gun and started rearranging blinds with a fleece throw behind each blind then putting up the blinds again & then covering the windows with the curtains again.

The Martha Stewart started coming out in me & that little glue gun was no match for me, I grabbed my scissors made a cute tie back for Kaykee's window then went into 'Si's room and boy, If mom had seen what I was doing she would have freaked!! l.o.l :) [i cut his curtains apart then glued them back together in a NEW way]
Then i went into my messy living room and started there... still not done but I just started laughing at myself when; the thought came to my mind, "MARIE YOU ARE THE GLUE GUN VERSION OF MARTHA STEWART (not even on a shoe string budget but on NO BUDGET!") it was so funny, I just had to blog it :)

I tired out my precious little 'Si! It was funny he was just following me from room to room carrying my bag of glue sticks saying "oooh that pretty momma! you make it fast" l.o.l
He just worried for a little minute when he saw me cutting his curtains apart he said, "uh oh momma daddy gonna get realy mad at you" too funny!!

I need to figure out how to make tree ornaments, ANY IDEAS?????

5 months today

~love u 4 ever~
~miss you like crazy~

Rhinestone & Sherbet

They are still alive :)
thanks for all the advice you are all so sweet. We called Wal-Mart and the fish food is just a couple of bucks so I think we might be able to go out & get some later on today!!!

STEVE & I ARE MISSING 'LIJAH... ... ... tomorrow is the 9th.

Phillipians 4:8
Whatever things are true, whatever things are noble, whatever things are just, whatever things are of good report, if there be any virtue and if there is anything praiseworthy - meditate on these things.

- We will see him again
-He doesn't cry for us or miss us
- He is as Psalms 16:11 says enjoying pleasures forevermore
-IT IS GOOD TO THINK & KNOW WITH CERTAINTY these things!!!
-This is the day that the Lord has made WE WILL rejoice & be glad IN IT!!

NEED FAST ADVICE any one out there awake?!??!

I was on my way to bed & noticed Sherbet & Rhinestone are still in a cup sitting on the shelf on my hutch.
*AAAAaaaaaahhhh!!!!*
WE NEVER WENT TO BUY THEM FOOD!!!!
what can I feed them?
I poured them into a 6 inch tall by 4 inch wide clear glass vase I saved from 'Lijah's funeral
will they be okay? will they die by morning since we have no fish food?
They are probably STARVING poor fish!!!!

ANY IDEAS? ? ? ? PLEASE!!!!
I gotta take care of my Kaykee' Sherbet & Rhinestone!!!!
*Uuugh*
How long will they survive?
we can't afford a tank & the air bubble machine thing and Kayla's last fish from a carnival was already adopted by Tio Ben's big FISH tank but Kake is so set on KEEPING Sherbet & Rhinstone!!
Does any one know what I can feed them inthe mean time?!?!?! till Morning? I can ask Ben to lend us some fish food till we buy some but what about tonight? will they die?
Steve is asleep & I can't call any one right now!
IF ANY ONE IS AWAKE - ONLINE & has advise real quick PLEASE-PLEASE-PLEASE help me save Sherbet & Rhinestone!!
KAYLA WILL REALLY LOVE YA FOR IT!!!!

CAN'T SLEEP... ... just thinking

Random Thoughts:
~ Tired
~ Beth's married - she looks SO happy :) I'm happy 4 her!(them)
~ A little bit of a head ache
~ Saturday night was fun
~ 2 more days till '5 months'
On our way to the rehearsal on Friday night - in the car listening to the radio; ever since Steve & I met. Every Christmas we decorate our tree while playing the Christmas Song 'Rockin Around The Christmas Tree'. It seems like this year[probably his age] 'Si seems to be more aware of Christmas. but even when we just had Kayla - this was our Family Christmas Song (it's our family tradition) any ways we were driving to rehearsal and the song started playing on the radio. I got all into it. Steve too was singing along with the kids - WE were ALL laughing & giggling when I turned back to look at them in the back seat - My heart sank & tears just rolled down my face - My mind SHOUTED at me: " 'Lijah's car seat should be in the middle of the two kids! - 'Lijah is not hear - this should be 'Lijah's first Christmas"
Oh my heart hurts - Miss you sweet boy - Miss your soft warm face & your little baby grunts :)

~ My little heart charm from Morro Bay is tarnishing - its not real but it has my 'Lijah's name on it & I get to wear it close to my heart. I love touching it.
We need to decorate your little spot my love
Ugggh! I am so mad that the stupid Head Stone Place is closing - NOW when are we gonna get your Marker!!!!
I wanna put your little hand print on it. Daddy agrees that it will be special. We will have to find another company to make you your marker sweet baby of mine! I am so sorry - but daddy & I did order it but we just found out the company closed - I guess they lost their business. That's why every time we go your marker still isn't there.
Kakee thinks of you even when she is at her other house - I know because she told me that the other day she was with her mom and she saw a tiny tree at a Christmas tree lot and thought it would be perfect for your spot. 'Si thinks of you so much too - He tells me he wants to hold you like Moriah. (that hurts) I know you don't know what I am saying - but Mommy just needs to talk to you so bad. 'Siah & Kaykee love you & miss you. They talk about you to me & daddy all the time. Daddy misses you too!
I thought of you so much on Saturday. Kito-Ben was here for the after party with his friends. It made me glad whenever I was walking by them and Corina was holding your picture, your "smart boy" picture! I realized that he does talk about you & it made me feel good to know that he has not forgotten you. We will never forget you. One day I will get one of those necklaces with your "smart boy" pictures on it! I am so proud that YOU ARE OUR "smart boy". If we could sweet boy - Daddy & I would make HUGE pictures of your "smart boy" pictures, FOR EVERY ONE TO SEE!!!!!! We are so very proud that you are our baby! I am missing you right now so much. I am glad you do not see mine & daddy tears. I am crying for you right now. I am missing you with such a deep -deep hurting in my heart. Tia Cindy told me (at the wedding) that Moriah looked like you - Daddy thinks so too & Mema(grandma - my mom) & Ya-ya(beth) do too!!!
Oh ELIJAH, My 'LIJAH!!! Daddy put pretty Christmas lights in your memorial garden and we laughed when he said, " 'Lijah probably says - Daddy your lights are nothing compare to all the beauty & lights in heaven"
Kaykee & 'Si were singing 'come & go with me to my fathers house - A big big house where we can play foot ball...' and Kay realized for the very first time that this song is talking about heaven & NOT church. she thought it was talking about church til 'Siah said "Lijah live in a big yard to play foot -ball for me & daddy to get to heaven - wanna play Leelah(kayla)?" See sweet boy 'Siah thinks of you ALL the time.
Our precious baby boy. I wanted to go to the ocean again for your 6 month anniversary - We told Kito-Bens Corina about it and she said she would like to send up balloons from the golden gate bridge for your 6months. That is a sweet idea... ... Maybe if we can go we will do it. It makes me feel so nice whenever I realized that Kito-Bens Corina knew about you baby!! She is real cute & sweet. I think your bubba ('siah) has a little crush on her :) I know from the way she talks & acts like she would have been at your celebration service & she would have loved you too. She is really nice!
O my little baby boy - I think of 'Shua (Oceana's bubba) & baby Asher & Issac and Little Baby Jacob & Baby Eva every time I look at the pretty puffy clouds up in the sky. We blow bubbles for you & all of them too :)
'Shua is gonna have a new baby sister and Asher & Issac are gonna have new baby brother or sister real soon and baby Eva is gonna have a baby brother. Daddy & I thought you were gonna be a big brother too - on Thanks giving Day- cause Mommy was craving chili with banana nut bread (i was so scared) but it was just mommies monthly symptoms & Tia Berba's(Minn) yummy chili. Maybe some day you will be a big brother but right now mommy & daddy are gonna wait for a bit. We are glad we have time to wait - we were so scared on that day. Mommy & Daddy are trying to look for the perfect Christmas ornament for YOU in case we get a Christmas tree - well we will get you an ornament any ways, but we got an idea from some friends - their oldest little boy hung his 2 brothers monies(pacifiers) on their tree. Daddy & I think that would be real special. I miss you 'Lijah... ... ... ... Mommy & daddy are helping out with the children's Christmas Pageant at church - We will be thinking of you. Tia Cindy will be leaving to Texas for Christmas on Friday. She will come back the day after 'Siah's birthday. Daddy's birthday is next Monday. He will turn 35 years old. WE MISS YOU 'LIJAH ~ love you forever bubba! ~love -u-4ever ~that's what WE say.

MORE THOUGHTS:
~ need ornament ideas
~ mema made 'Lijah a beautiful Christmas wreath!
~ Gonna miss my Cinda at Christmas
~ Miss Bernice
~MISS MY 'LIJAH EVEN MORE!!!
~ I love to blog - it helps me feel better
~ Hope mom comes over tomorrow
~ I wish I knew every time my fam. has thought of 'Lijah
~ Hope Kays not too sick
~ This weekend is her mommys weekend :( gonna miss her!
~ What should I do for Steve's B-day?
~ The JOY of THE LORD IS MY STRENGTH & SONG
~ YOU ARE OUR ROCK & FORTRESS
~ My hubby is my BLESSING!!
~ It was so nice to see Pastor P & Roseanne and the kids at the party today
~ Pastor P was too cute how he rushed the girls out of the way so his little 4 yr old Leah could see my board of bows & he pulls out a $ 20.00 bill and said, "pick any ones you like princess" that was way cute!! for a daddy to do & her momma was like, " wait!!!" l.o.l :)
~ THE AFTER PARTY 'family dance' was FUN!!
~ I loved that Selina was teaching me how to dance
~ She knows her stuff
~ On that note i'm going o bed

weekend over :`)

Sorry - No pic's yet. I begged my two nephews to email them to me this afternoon but the lunch party was WAY BIG & lasted from noon time to evening service, so maybe tomorrow I will ask them again. Selina said she has some. I am gonna ask her see if she can send them to me tomorrow.

Church was good today! The food Ben(not my nephew Kito-Ben. his dad.) made MMMmmmmmm!
We had yummy tacos de carne asada (not wanting to make everyone drool) but
O.M. G - those things were exquisite!!! scrumptious!!! Ben makes them in his DISCO( an outdoor Mexican version of a Wok type fryer) it runs like a gas BBQ grill. Same type of propane tank. The chili salsa that Minn made oooooh my mouth is watering!!!

Ben & Minn live out in the country on a big property in the middle of orchards & vineyards. They have a back yard & a back-back yard. All the kids were playing in the back-back yard while all the men were outside with Ben as he was making the meat for the tacos. I was inside with all the ladies & Kito-Ben & his friends, when suddenly Steve walked in carrying Josiah['Si was crying] and Kake was right behind them and she too was crying - Steve was as white as a ghost and Kayla was crying so bad along with 'Si. We finally found out what happened - they were looking for one of the puppies that had wandered out under one of the trailers. The kids were playing on it and Josiah some how fell off the trailer and his hand got caught under the bar or trailer hitch. HE IS PERFECTLY FINE!!! Praise The Lord!!! He was just really scared. My nephew Roque showed Steve exactly what happened. We washed up his muddied hands and saw that he was fine and would not need to take him to the hospital. Kakee was still crying and very scared - Josiah kept trying to console her, telling her - "I okay sister - I okay! No fry(he can't pronounce his C's) NO FRY sister - I okay".

Kayla later explained to me that she thought that since he fell backwards landing on his head she thought ,"his brain would fall out like 'Lijah's did" Oh it just broke my heart... ... ... (no wonder my sweet girl was crying so badly) Steve & I hugged her and assured her that 'Si was okay and that her scary feelings were normal - She went out to play the rest of the afternoon :) So- did 'Siah.

Moriah slept very well at her 1st "slumber party"!! She must have been tired from all the days activities cause she slept all night long - but woke up SUPER-SUPER hungry at 5:30 a.m

Kake is back home tonight. She was feeling sick - a little bit (probably a bug) Please pray for her and her family not to get sick (the last thing any one needs right now is to catch a flu bug).

Oh I can't wait to get my hands on those wedding pictures!!! Oops I almost forgot Kake named her fish - Sherbet & RHINESTONE, not gem - she laughed at me when I asked if it was gem!!!

Such a long BEAUTIFUL DAY!

1st - Hi Sheena! thanks for your comment. I don't have any pictures right now but I will try to have my nephews send some to my email by tomorrow, okay!

Such a long-long-long day... It was good though!
So, I have to be honest and admit, I hit the snooze button and fell fast asleep til 7:45 a.m when 'Si[who NEVER sleeps past 7:00] walked into our room.

I guess last night Steve & I were so wound up we had a hard time falling asleep. We were tired but just couldn't fall asleep and about 1:00 a.m I heard , "mommy" it was Kay telling me she had a sore throat and a dry stuffy nose. We put some vicks baby menthol in her nostrils and tucked her back in and then, I guess she was wide awake because from then on for about the next 30 minutes the three of us were giggling, talking and carrying on about silly stuff. At 3:00 a.m I heard another, "mommy" it was 'Si. Steve got up and found monie & tucked him back in. I was wide awake, so I decided I might as well take advantage of the time and jumped in the shower. Needless to say, by the time i got out and back into bed. I was out cold whenever the alarm came on at 5:00, so I slept in (accidentally)

I felt horrible. I was supposed to be at moms to help Beth get dressed at 8:00!!! I woke up at 7:45 ( I know, I know how awful of me) NO WE DID NOT MAKE IT ON TIME! no - not even to the wedding!!!
We had the groom with us and he arrived at the church at 10:01 and Beth got there at 10:35.

The wedding was just precious. I carried Moriah in. Cindy & Daniel sang, 'From This Moment' by Shania Somthing... ... oh my goodness - we were all balling (I don't think there was a dry eye in the house). Cindy had to wipe my tears cause I was holding Moriah - She was part of the wedding party (too cute - can't wait to get pic's to post)!!

Wedding was over at 11:30. Reception was very nice. quaint. Simple but lovely. Served finger foods & cake. Cleaned up & came home @ 12:45 rested for about 1 hour and then packed up the bows. We were all a little on the grumpy(tired-grumpy) side for about 20 minutes, while we packed up & drove. The kids were tired & no my little 'Si did NOT get a nap - poor guy.

As soon as we got there the Christmas spirit hit us & we were okay except that IT WAS COLD!!! cold- cold- cold!
It was so cold that only half the regular crowd showed up out there & some street vendors left early because of the cold.

We still haven't really counted how much we sold but I know it wasn't that much - At 5:00 mom packed up & left, We stayed for about 20 minutes more. We were trying to brave the cold & wait to see the actual tree lighting ceremony but it was too cold so we packed up & got ready to go.

Fowler is such a small close knit community and lots of people know us from all the years I lived in Fowler plus all the parents & children who know me from when I worked at the school district. Kayla is known there too - It's like our home town :)

Our booth was right next to my x-neighbor. She said a cheery, "hi Kayla" & Kayla didn't remember her. Kristen had to remind her- she was mommy's neighbor!

We were just about ready to leave when one of the little girls came up to Kayla & offered her two gold fish. *aye!!*
So of course being the little pet lover she is, Kayla squealed with excitement as Samantha's mom asked Steve if she could have them. Seeing Kayla's expression we said okay(reluctantly). None the less we now have two new additions to the Douglas family. She named them, Sherbet & Turquoise, Gem, Onyx, or something like that.

Now we were really getting ready to leave - Steve was actually loading stuff when Kristen comes to her booth with two toddler size bicycles (raffle prizes) a pink one and a blue one. She has a niece but no nephew. YUP! you guessed it!!! She gave it to 'Si !!!! WOW what a BIG day for the kids! Free pictures with Santa ('Sia had to be bribed by Nino Jonathan) & Kayla took three pic's with Santa!!! The fish & the bike - Both kids had a smile that lit up brighter than the tree ceremony!!

We rushed home & cleaned up our messy living room & dining room. Jonathan & Olivia were the first to get here for the 'after party', Then Beth's friend Becca, then finally Beth & Tony arrived with mom & 'Riah. The pizzas arrived - more guests arrived. The music started at about 6:45 p.m and we mingled a little -for about an hour and then the bride and groom had their first dance. It was beautiful. After that it was on - we had our humble but extremely fun family dance. We had all the girls dance first and then the kids joined in and then it the guys started acting silly & joined in. Then Steve took me into the center of our living room and we danced and laughed so hard when he dipped me & every one clapped![Cindy got really good pictures - I will ask her to send them to my email so I can post some]it has been a while since Steve & I danced & had such a wonderfully FUN evening like that (*sigh* BIG- SMILE*) . He and Kayla had a father-daughter dance and she got teary, my precious girl - it was just so precious to see her in her daddy arms all teary. 'Siah was sweet on one of the 19 year old girls (*Aye*) he danced with his nina Cindy - Cindy danced with Kayla & Kayla pulled me out a couple of times to "teach"me how to dance, She said, "come here mom - look- just follow my lead" I am not a dancer but her & Selina were sure having a blast teaching me or most likely laughing at me!! It was so much fun!!! Our house finally started to clear out at about 10:oo and Mom & Moriah are spending the night so Kayla & Steve got their fill of Moriah without 'Si hovering over them.

Mom & 'Ri are sleeping over in Kayla's room (Mr. & Mrs. Dews are celebrating their marriage tonight - no baby!!! & momma is having baby with drawls). Kay is "camping out with 'Si. Moriah fell asleep at 11:00. Kay fell asleep at 11:30 and 'Si fell asleep at 10:50 ( he was so tired).

Oh and we just remembered we have Kito-Ben's 20th birthday celebration after church tomorrow.

I am T.I.R.E.D!!!

Cherishing the moments

I am a very strong believer in cherishing moments. I was thinking about how time just goes so very fast. Kayla got home today and we dashed out the door to go pay the rent and pick up some stuff at the store real quick. Real quick took forever and it was dark by the time we got home.

We got back and changed for the reahersal and out the door again... We practiced walking in, standing, walking out and did this over and over til it was just right. Josiah is not very interested in this ring bearer business.
Practice started at 6:00 and we left at 9:30. We set up , decorated, ate and then our family had to leave. We came home and without any discussion to be had between us & the kids - "camp douglas" was not on the itinarary for this Friday night. THe kids are so involved with all we are doing they didn't seem to mind.

We all walked in the front door and Kayla went straight for the shower. I changed 'Si into his jammies, Steve did some packing and arranging of our sale stuff.

Everything seemed to be functioning just fine. 'Si was looking for his pillow to lie down, Kake is showering, Steve's packing and it hit me... ... ... "CHERISH THE MOMENTS" I knew I had lots to do. I am or should I say we are all so tired. Just then Kake comes out of her shower and I think "cherish the moments-this here and now moment".

I grab a blanket throw it down on the carpet and tell the kids & Steve well we aren't doing "camp douglas" be we can always make time for family cuddles!
So, we all piled in cozy, cozy, comfy, comfy (as 'Si says it) and had the most wonderful cuddle time together. I started singing worship songs to them and every now and then 'Si & Kake would join in and as I rubbed my finger on her forehead; Again, Ithought "cherish these moments". 'Si was holding my face as I sang to them and Kayla cuddled close between us daddy & her were making ~cricket feet~ (it's a thing we all do to eachother when we are laying together. We rub our feet together till we fall asleep).

Kake was facing me and when I winked at her she squeezed my shoulder. We were singing different worship songs to our "precious blessings from heaven". In that very moment Steve & I knew this moment is one our children will cherish forever. We too cherish these moments and we tucked them in and the most precious sight to see is Kake holding 'Si while they sleep.

I had some one write to me and ask me how Kay & 'Si get along. I said they get along like all siblings do, why wouldn't they? They are both my children. My sweet girl just has a first mommy & I am the second.

Lately Josiah has been trying to grasp the concept of why sister has two homes and today he asked her, "tister - you first mommy she say yes? (kake (we) had no idea what he was trying to say) I asked him her mommy say yes for what? and he said, "her first mommy say yes to tister(sister) to she eat candy with me?"
He was asking if her first mommy would let her share one of his candies :)

On this busy day I have been so blessed to take the time to cherich the fleeting moments in our sometimes chaotic life schedules.

We will be at the wedding at 10:00 :) Beth & Tony are so exausted! They just left the church at 11:45 p.m tonight.

I better go sleep for a few hours before we hear that alarm clock at 5:30 a.m

I will try to ask Kito Ben to send me some pic's from the wedding