Thursday, December 18, 2008

Moriah's 1st "visit" (without mommy, daddy & granny)

Here are some pictures of what we can do when Mommy & Daddy AREN'T hovering!!

Josiah wass acctually more free to be around her & I wasn't as nervous that Moriah's daddy would get paranoid l.o.l :) He loves her so much!! He would have been a great big brother to 'Lijah. He sings the lullaby from Lady & The Tramp to her!
AND CAN YOU TELL I AM HAVING FUN WITH MY CAMERA :~)

WE FOUND IT!!!! and... ... ... I just to vent

WELL THANK THE GOOD LORD ABOVE!!! WE FOUND THE RING! after tearing the house apart piece by piece and NOT getting to bed til 2 a.m.
My mom called @ 7:30 to see if we were up? She could tell i was asleep, so she said I will just go back to Parlier. (She had brought Tony to work in Selma) I went back to bed[exhausted]. We got up @ 8 and I was still crying. Steve just kept telling me, "it's not your fault".
I decided to call Tracy. She had just finished praying with me & my phone beeped. It was mom. She said I got it!!
WHAT!? HOW?!?!
well Steve had picked lemons for her to take home. She decided to take each lemon out of the bag one at a time and wash them to put in a bowl on her kitchen table. She took the last lemon out & saw an orange lump at the bottom of the bag. She says, she new it had to be the ring[covered in masa] she said she prayed oh Lord let it be the ring and s she ran it under the water the diamonds began to sparkle!!!
STEVE IS SO HAPPY, not to mention me toooooo!!
THANKS FOR ALL YOUR PRAYERS & WORDS OF ENCOURAGEMENT!!
HE STILL HEARS OUR CRIES FOR HELP! HE IS OUR REFUGE & STRENGTH!!

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* I was trying to just let it roll right off my back - let it go. I email a very dear friend of mine to tell her, like just to get it off my chest type of thing and it happened AGAIN so now I just gotta blog this. IT IS CRAZY!

okay so now, I just really need to vent. So last week Kakie & I went to Wal-Mart to get some punch for Steve's B-Day lunch. We ran into a family we know. SHE, 'THE WIFE' [to remain nameless] asked me oh, so how old is Steve turning. I told her 35. SHE said oh wow that's still young, so then why do you guys look so old & wasted. The husband got embarrassed & tried to help by saying, OH they look like that because of Elijah. [okay- thank you] Then she said something else and Kakie says MY MOMS NOT OLD they do cry but they are not wasted.
her little daughter said something too. I was so shocked embarrassed & upset I did not know what to say or how to get away. Finally we left.

CAN YOU BELIEVE I RAN IN TO HER AGAIN & AGAIN SHE SAID STUPID THINGS TO ME!!
Uggghh!!

This time (yesterday) we are at Food Max and SHE says oh Hi!!! I wanted to ignore her so bad & can you believe it SHE said, "What are you doing?" I said just shopping. She starts to look at me from top to bottom & says:
"OH too bad they don't sell makeovers! ha! ha! ha! - man I told 'hubby'[to remain nameless] I told him man I hope we never look like that when we turn 35. So yeah you should ask Steve to buy you new clothes & get your hair died & stuff cause you look alot older than 35. I always think I gotta look good for my family to be proud of me!! I mean Marie your kids always look good but you & Steve shouldn't look as old as you do. You just need a new hair style & a new make up look & maybe get your nails done YOU WILL FEEL SO MUCH HAPPIER!! like look at your tennis shoes those are way out of style and they look real old too. I am just saying do something to make yourself look & feel better & the same for Steve!!"

I was staring at the green beans the entire time, till her husband came around the corner after just enough time to tear down my self esteem & rip me to shreds!!
He says oh hi! Hows it going? I was fighting back the tears so bad & Josiah says "momma shoes are old" and he just giggled (unaware of what had just happened) I said well I gotta go. I did not even finish my shopping. Josiah kept asking me "You wash you shoes momma?" "You uh make up momma?" I could not speak! We walked out of the grocery store and put 'SI in the car seat and got in the car & buckled up. I sat there tears streaming down my face. I started the car & turned on the radio so 'Si could start singing
I kept shouting at myself in silence!! "IT DOESN'T MATTER! MATERIALISTIC THINGS DO NOT MATTER TO YOU" I kept hearing Steve telling me, "DON'T CARE WHAT PEOPLE THINK" as long as we are happy
But those words still hurt & now I keep having these little words & thoughts in my head that I am fighting with.
- you should care about your self
-you do need to cut & die your hair
- your tennis shoes are older than your marriage
-your close is so out dated
- you used to go get your nails done all the time
- you used to have a pair of shoes for every purse
- you used to have perfumes for every day of the week & then some
- what happened ?

I HATE HAVING THESE THOUGHTS IN MY HEAD!!
SHE of course looks & smells like she just stepped out of the beauty spa all the time & so does her hubby & cute precious daughter.

I know, I know! beauty is passing & charm is deceitful but a woman who loves the Lord she shall be praised!
I know I just feel so BLAHHHH now! & I don't feel very praise worthy