The tree was now standing & Steve sighed deeply & said, "I miss Kayla - she has never missed decorating the tree & this year we didn't get the tree in time for her to be here"
We found a small plastic grocery bag half filled with plastic ornaments. We decided to go to the grocery store to pick up some candy canes (thank God for our grocery card).
We came back from the store and found several (8)missed calls from Kayk's moms number. Our cordless phone was dead. We kept trying to charge it but Kayk kept calling in. We listened to one voice mail. She said, "Daddy it's Kayla. If you don't get these messages; I love you & Happy Birthday okay daddy - I love you & sorry if you don't get these messages. Please call me." We finally got the phone charged enough to and finally answer her incoming call. Steve told her the phone was dying & she said, "daddy please call my mom because I can go with you tomorrow" After about thirty minutes of letting the phone charge Steve called& talked to Kay's mom.
SHE IS GIVING US HER WEEKEND!!! SO THAT KAY CAN BE HOME FOR HER DADDY'S B-DAY LUNCH ON SUNDAY!!!!
Steve's 35th B-Day is Monday but I am making him Menudo & Posole for lunch on Sunday & inviting church friends & family over to help us celebrate his birthday!!!
Needles to say the tree decorating stopped - KAY WILL BE HERE TOMORROW & WE INTEND ON KEEPING THE TRADITION OF DECORATING TOGETHER!!!!
On a down note : Rhinestone died on Monday & Sherbet died this evening. I think after the new year if Steve finds a job & I get back to school we are gonna get her some fish & a small tank with a filter.She was a bit
disappointed to hear they were dead.
~ gotta share this *tear jerking moment*
So, like I mentioned this morning - Steve had brought in the tubs of decorations right? well before we went to get the candy canes. Steve was stringing the lights on the tree & I was putting up one of my nativity scene collection. Josiah was piddling around and he found the bin of stuff was now empty he was playing around with it for about 5 minutes, when suddenly he says, "I go to heaven with 'Lijah now" Steve & I both jerked our heads to look towards him and he looked at us with that look of ~ curiosity or mischief~ (not sure how to explain the look) any ways I asked him "what babe" (trying not to startle him by my expressions) Steve turned his head back to the tree as if he was not paying attention. Josiah looked at me & said, "I go to be with my 'Lijah now kay?!! I be soft okay- see? see? I can - I fit! - Jesus an pick me up from the 'special' crib - see like 'Lijah's"
*Uhhh* (tears streaming down my face now).
He was comparing the stupid rubber tub to Elijah's casket - the tub is small, so he must have remembered and since the lid was right there... ...
Ug=hhh - Steve & I were speechless but i managed to tell him, " oh that tub reminds you of 'Lijah's 'special crib' - oh yeah you are right it is sorta like that huh?" ( i was trying hard not to cry & figure out what to reply)
He said, "see momma I go now, I go be with 'Lijah" I said, " the tub is sorta like the 'special crib we put Lijah in , but we can not go with 'Lijah yet"
YES, he kept asking questions! Steve was on his knees in front of the tree (crying). I was ringing my hands together fighting back the tears - the LONG- inquisitive conversation ended after I finally said, " Mommy & Daddy don't know why- baby, but one day Jesus will show us okay! - now mommy needs to finish the thing... ( YEAH I SAID THE THING) what thing? I dont know! I was just trying to get this little man to stop talking so I could catch my breath - Oh I think that's when Steve piped out, "lets go buy candy canes for our tree"! (thanks baby- your the sweetest!)
Ughhh! that's all I gotta say about it all!! UGHHHHHH! & today baby Noah(on my side bar) was supposed to be born - I gotta go check on them. I hate to even wonder if Noah is still here or not!! UGGGgggghhh!
(crying & bit TRUSTING)
Hi - I wanted to comment about Elijah's 5 month birthday but blogger wouldn't let me. Sorry! Wow - I would never have thought that little Josiah would remember and be thinking so much about Elijah. That must be one (many) of those bitter sweet things - sort of glad that he remembers but sad that he has to miss him so. It must be hard for you.
ReplyDeleteI am so excited that Kayla is able to spend Steve's birthday weekend with you and decorate the tree and all. Yay!
Your post on cherishing the moments really touched me last week - I have posted about it and linked to your blog (not that many people read mine!)
Love ya, Sheena
Hey,
ReplyDeleteSo I am amazed at the way you can handle this. I know it is not easy, but you are strong your babies and I am proud of you.
Jessica