Steve & I stood in a food bank line for 6 and a half hours today. We made ourselves useful & collected plastic water bottles to recycle for a little bit of cash. Once Josiah was out of school we made it into a game "collecting & counting empty water bottles".
He behaved so well!!! My sweet boy. All the while there was a girl in front of us, pushing a stroller with her son, named "Elijah" who was born on July 10th.
I cannot begin to say how many times I was asked is he(referring to Si) your only child? Only to be followed by comments like, "AWWW you are so mean! he needs a little brother" or, "you don't like kids? is that why you just have him?
LIFE IS PAINFULLY CRUEL sometimes and for us it has been for quite some time now!
So today we had our full helping of humble pie!!!
*(since I have already received several emails asking how it is we have internet if we are in such a financial bind; to answer that question once and for all - we have internet because it came with our TV service on June 11th when the digital transition took place. AT THE TIME I STILL HAD A JOB SO I TOOK THE DEAL, but our utilities are being shut off one at a time and very soon I will not be blogging or getting on Face Book. hope that satisfies the curious questions :)
Oh and just in case you were wondering YES, STEVE IS STILL "looking" for WORK.
and NO I don't think we are mismanaging our finances, cause we don't have finances :)
BUT for those of you who see us on a day to day basis WE WILL KEEP THE SMILES ON OUR FACES & NOT bring up our saddness of missing Elijah "because, WE ARE BLESSED" and we wouldn't want to make anyone uncomfortable.....
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People should not be judging you. We all get by and do what we can. If the internet is a small luxury that you have for the moment, that's between you and God, not you and some nosy stranger.
ReplyDeleteYou keep your chin up! God is good and He will provide.
Love Lindsay
I am new to reading your blog and I just finished reading all your past blogs. I am so sorry for your loss. I also lost a child. My daughter Emma Noelle was born on December 1, 2004. She passed away on December 5, 2004 from Hypo-plastic Left Heart Syndrome and a rare chromosome disorder called MIDAS syndrome. Even after 4 years I still miss her terribly. I thought that with time things would get easier but so far it hasn't. I too try to put on a brave face and pretend that everything is fine but in my heart it isn't. I still cry every day for my little girl. Know that you are not alone and that there are other people who feel like you do.
ReplyDeleteI am shocked that anyone would judge you or your husband that way. It really is none of their business how you spend your money. I agree with the commenter above...God will always provide. Trust in Him.
I have had similar experiences with people saying things when they don't understand my circumstance of loss. I have also come across people who have a child with the same name as my daughter who passed away and is the same age my daughter would have been. It can be quite painful and heartbreaking. I just never know what to say or how to respond when I get comments like that or come across a situation like that. You are not alone in this situation. I will pray that God gives you a sense of peace when you have to deal with circumstances like this again.
I hope that things get better for you. You will be in my thoughts and prayers. Good Luck!
Melissa Moss
melissamoss79@live.com
Marie, no one has the right to judge you. After all you have been through and are dealing with, I am so sorry you are having to deal with that too. :(
ReplyDeleteI'm so sorry I haven't commented for so long. So often I'm holding Joshua when I do get on the computer (which isn't very often lately) and I don't have enough arms to type! But I have been reading and praying so hard for you all. You are such an encouragement to me. Hang in there!
Sending lots of hugs & prayers your way...
((HUGS))