BUSY DAY!

We sold burritos this morning. It went pretty good! We are not only getting ready for Beth's wedding tomorrow but we also have the Christmas Street Fair we are selling at tomorrow! Our dining table is covered in bows, headbands, barrettes & ribbons and Christmas necklaces & pins too!

I have slacks & dress shirts to iron ties & socks to match that's all the guy stuff. Not to mention me & Kake our hair, shoes bla bla bla everything else. Afterwards we are hosting an after party here at our house - Our house doesn't even look like we are expecting to have guests tomorrow we have clothes hanging across the dining & living rooms and I already mentioned the table. My kitchen still looks like a burrito manufacturing place; AND YES EVERYTHING IS TOMORROW!!!! YIKES!!!!
Here is how it will[should] go:
TODAY - Steve & 'Si pick up Kake from school
Kake home
Me & Kake run errands (*real super quick)
Come back get dressed
Go to rehearsal
Decorate/ Set up Church
Come home CLEAN HOUSE
Kids to bed ('Si at least)
Get clothes ready
finish & pack up Street fair craft stuff
sleep (I HOPE)
TOMORROW
wake up get dressed
walk out clean, dressed & happy!! (PLEASE PRAY FOR THAT TO HAPPEN) l.o.l
get to church @ 9:00 a.m
watch my baby sister get married :) @ 10:00 a.m
have fun at 1st reception
clean up come home change and pack up
go to street fair at 2:00 p.m
sell from 2:30 - 6:00 p.m
clean up, pack up come home
6:30 Welcome guests to my(should be clean) house for an after wedding reception dinner party

SUNDAY wake up and go to church (probably all very tired)
*CAN I PLEASE RUN AWAY?!?!?*

'SI & 'Ri

Kick'n Cousins Awwww! we love each other
Mom came over this afternoon. She took this picture of 'Siah playing HIS drums :) (2 tambourines, a can- YES A CAN and a play drum. The mess in the back ground is where he was taking a nap at until Moriah woke him up by laying next to him. HE loved that!!! He was smiling from ear to ear. I think Beth got some pictures of that. Our burrito sale went pretty good! We are still under the gun and pressing for time but we are holding on!
Thanks so much for your kind thoughts, comments and prayers. We appreciate it so much! Steve has been out back in 'Lijah's garden all after noon it is Soooooooo coldy cold! Okay so California cold is nothing to be compared to New York, Colorado or Other cold States but for me it's bbbrrrrrr! coldy cold.

just noticed...

I just noticed, a prayer request posted . He is in "FULL CLEAN MODE"... ... ...
That is how he deals with stuff and while I enjoy a clean house, I do not enjoy watching my sweet heart worry like this. It is 11:30 p.m. we got home from bible study and found some 'not good news' on our front door. He has managed to clean my kitchen spotless, clean the bathroom, he is washing and hanging, cleaned our bedroom and I am not sure what else is clean!

I just heard our front door open- it is so cold outside and he just stepped out onto our front porch.

Dear Lord, I pray that YOU give Steve the courage that he needs right now. We trust you will see us through. You are our Faithful Provider.

So, these thoughts keep racing through my mind... ... ...
-Are we being punished?
-I'm tired!
-Why?
-When will this drought/curse/ punishment end?
-People must be tired of praying for us or hearing us ask for prayer.
- I hope I can sell a lot of breakfast burritos tomorrow.
-I hope we get a lot of orders for Christmas tamales.
- I don't want mom to worry.
-Thank God for Blogging (*sigh)
- The bibles promises are true.
-So what are You trying to teach us God?
- Show me how to fix what I have done wrong.
- I am sorry!
- I love you Lord!
- Miss you 'Lijah
-Beth's wedding is at such a hard financial time for us right now.
- I'm glad she is happy
-Tony is sweet
-Moriah is precious
- Steve is taking out trash from where? I do not know!
- YOU ARE MY ROCK & MY FORTRESS!
- I wish I could sleep 'no worries'
- Miss Kay
- It's cold
-Don't want people who read this to pitty us
- What else do I do?
- I LIFT MY EYES TO THE HILLS. FROM WHERE DOES MY HELP COME FROM? MY HELP COMES FROM THE LORD
- how much longer?
- when this is passed, what will we have learned?
- God is in control.
-It's CHRISTMAS season...
- Don't cry!
- Can't cry...
- MOLD ME & MAKE ME 'THIS IS WHAT I PRAY'
- Josiah is precious.
- HOPE!
- WHY?
- OTHERS
- I wish I could laugh.
- we need a miracle!
- do we?
- TEACH me the lesson Lord!
- learn it Marie!!!
- learn what?!?!
- how?
- what is it that I have done wrong?
- Steve just came into the kitchen - he is at the sink
- I wanna throw up
- God
- where are we?
- I know you are faithful & constant in our lives, so then where are we?
- I feel sick
-I need to trust
-I need to relax
- I can't
- tomorrow is a brand new day
- why can't i find a job?
- why can't Steve find a job?
- we need jobs!
- Ugggggh!
- I'm mad!!!!!!!!!!!
-I have a head ache!
- Galatians says 'whatever things are good, whatever things are lovely, whatever things are praise worthy, whatever things are noble, whatever things are of good report think on these things!
- AMEN!!!
- some how that feels better 'anxiety that was building up tight on my neck and shoulders is going away :)
- I want us to sleep in peace tonight
- oh yeah - I just gave some one the verse that says ' He will keep in perfect peace those whose mind is stayed on thee'
- Steve just walked out to the back door
- Molly is sweet :)
- Our class we taught tonight; was good!
- Love to hear Josiah say "thank you Jesus!" (all excited and his face all smiles) I love to hear that!
- Steve just came back in
- We serve a BIG GOD!
- Jesus loves me (AND YOU TOO!!!)
- headache going away
- love my new friends from the blog
- Lord please saturate Steve with your perfect peace. Let your presence rest upon him. Your word says 'your burden is light' give him rest. Sustain him, Strengthen Him, encourage him like only You can do! Please give us both a good night of rest as we trust in you.
- Need to do something
- Have no energy
- "THANK YOU JESUS!" (said it just like 'Si does) :) 3x :)
- Heavenly Father, I thank you for all that you are in our lives. I praise your name for you are a GREAT GOD!
Thank you for every blessing you pour out! Thank you for every door that shuts and every door that opens. Thank you for YOUR perfect peace! WE are troubled but YOU are HERE with us. You are in our midst. I can feel the PEACE raining down. My husband loves you- trusts you- believes in you and depends on your strength! I thank you for him in my life and because he is a wonderful dad. He is a hard worker and most of all because we have each other. I thank you because when we got the 'bad' news - He took me into our room and we prayed together. You are an excellent God and all you do is praiseworthy. I know you will see us through. Forgive my anxious thoughts. Bless those who are in need of you - that they might receive your perfect peace.
- Steve is back in the kitchen. washing something else
- He just hugged me :) 'told me he loves me'
- He just walked back out.
- i am soooooooooooooooo tired.
- I hope Steve comes to bed tonight.
- He never sleeps when he is stressed
- Tomorrow is a brand new day
- CASTING ALL my ANXIETIES ON YOU
- I'm tired
- Don't wanna ruin Beth's wedding
- Don't want mom to worry
- WHAT EVER THINGS ARE LOVELY... THINK ON THESE THINGS!!!!
- i'm tired
- its 12:32
- I've been blogging for an entire hour!
- done!

TRUSTING

our faith is being tried. HE WILL SEE US THROUGH!
please pray for our financial situation. our nations economy is bad for everyone and there are no jobs for my wife and I.
steve

NEW BLOGGER

Well, Beth came over and she is totally freaking out about her wedding Saturday. She had a long , long, long day of last minute shopping & errands for the wedding + Moriah to deal with today; not to mention Tony.
*Ahhh* I remember & it is so nice to remember the stress vs. going through it - because I am sure many of you can agree with me that remembering is so sweet because we just highlight the sweet memories of all the wedding prep.

Our wedding was HUGE we had like 500 guests. We had a wedding party of 22 +2 flower girls, a ring bearer and a children's court of 5(i think 5, can't remember off hand) but it was HUGE. after the wedding we had a second dinner reception at the coast. WE WERE SO EXHAUSTED!!!

Beth's wedding is small and there is still so much to do. She is stressing bad - enjoying it but stressing. Cindy & Josh have really been a HUGE help to Beth.

ANYWAYS I INVITE YOU TO VISIT HER BLOG & LEAVE HER A WELL WISH COMMENT. I know she will really enjoy it. she is on my side bar under friends along the journey or just click here :~)
PLEASE KEEP HER, TONY & MORIAH in your prayers as they embark on this new path of life together.
http://wedewsdo.blogspot.com

MORE MORIAH PIC'S

SHE LOOKS SO CUTE WHEN SHE LAUGHS!!

SHE IS SHOWING OFF THE BIG BOW/HEADBAND I MADE FOR HER

Confessions

So, I've shared about how I am married to Sgt. Clean, right? well did I tell you our children take after him!!!
Today is Tuesday and I must confess; 'camp douglas' was still up - I know... I know... Kayla has been gone since Sunday night, I know but yesterday - I just didn't get around to putting her mattress back in her room. This morning Steve was watching the morning news. Josiah stood up and said, "Daddy the sala(living room) is in a mess". Steve just giggled and asked Josiah, "what?" and Josiah replied, "daddy we need to clean up - to take Kayla's bed back".

Frank came to pick up Steve to finish the wood chopping and as soon as he walked out the door, Josiah started pulling out the vacuum cleaner and he said, "mommy lets clean"

HE LOOKS SO CUTE VACUUMING!! he is so motivated to clean just like is daddy & sister :~)

My sala is now clean & vacuumed because my [almost] 3 year old gave me my [cleaning] orders. I am cleaning the kitchen now & he is vacuuming his room.

*Ugggh* & I thought I would have another lazy day - NOT!!!

Steve will be home in an hour and I will be ready to relax in a clean house
THANKS TO MY SWEET BOY!!!

DENSE FOG!!!

This morning Josiah & I were on our way to an appointment. There was a dense fog advisory it was zero visibility. We were in traffic when I looked in my rear view mirror and then within seconds heard the screeching tires and then felt the BIG "BOOM"

We were rear ended. It was a young kid in his teens, I think he said he was 17 and had just gotten his licence. Thank God 'Si & I are okay and so is the young kid.

Steve went to help a man from church chop some wood, so he still doesn't know!

The car isn't bad either but Josiah can sure make all the sound effects and dramatizations of what happened. He called my mom and told her everything he even told her where we we were going too!

I think the kid wasn't watching where he was going cause he was driving much too fast. I could see he was comming real fast and I couldn't move out or I would have hit on comming traffic.

Moriah is 1 month old now

My mom emailed me this picture of her. She was napping so good - they could'nt wake her up! She was 2 hours passed her feeding & still not motivated to wake up.

One week from today...

In one week my Beth will be getting married. This was supposed to be a small event but as we all know weddings always get bigger & bigger.

So, today Beth went to pick up her wedding dress! We had so much fun. Kake went on a movie date with Tia Berba(Minn) & Maddie. We came back and then Cindy took me to buy me something to wear for the wedding - we are Beths 3 bridesmaids. Of course our day was filled with humor because Cindy was saying jokes about her still not being married YET!! Cindy is like a man on a mission whenever it comes to stuff like this - there is no stopping her!! She is like a... ... okay I better stop now, but I am serious we laughed so hard my chest started to hurt from laughing at ourselves so much. We had a name for almost every piece of clothing we tried on. There was 'bubbles', 'granny', 'balloon', 'barney' and others too! Of course we did not bring any of those home for us to wear! Geeze I just can't figure out why those darn dresses don't look like they do on the models?!?!
*HA! HA! HA!* (stinky dresses whats wrong with them, oh wait maybe it's the mirrors) RIGHT!!!!
Oh well I may not have a models figure but I had a wonderfully fun day & I needed a day like this it was sooooooooo much fun.
I had a great day and so did my kiddo's & daddy too!!!
Steve said -"I've been trying to get you to go out with Cindy for a long time!!!
I had fun!
I better go now cause I have to be sure to get 'Si's tie ready for church tomorrow - Oh I saw the cutest little suits when we were out today, I didn't know they made them in their sizes!! (too cute) I wanted Kake to go with us but of course she chose movies with maddie :~)

Wooo Whoo!!

... And the indoor clothes line worked!!! NOW, are living room looks like a real authentic camping spot. Darn, all we need are the smores. Oh well maybe we can get some for next weekend. YOU should see this -
our dining room and living room adorned with zig zag lines of hanging clothes. Kake called it "The line of happy pants". She's so silly!!

(WOW! I guess I am, becoming an easy to please woman l.o.l!!!!!!!!!!!!)
You should have seen me... I was so excited when Steve finished it.
The kids & I clapped and cheered "YAEY! DADDY - YOU DID IT! YOU'RE THE BEST"

Steve, Kake & I all hung clothes on the line and then, daddy pulled out Kake's mattress and "camp Douglas" was a roaring rumble of fun!!! We ate 'Si's famous oatmeal biscuits and cold milk! (YUMMY- wish I knew how much of everything he added) We watched the 8 O' clock cartoon an ABC 'The Polar Express' ('Si LOVED IT-he was entranced)

We were almost tempted to make a switch off on the sleeping arrangements at camp douglas - but , I think we will keep it as usual. We talked of doing a boys - girls -separate but we were voted down!!

At dinner, Kay asked me if in heaven we are gonna look the same as we do now. She asked how 'Lijah is gonna know we are there. She asked if she will have her own mansion. We answered each question with scripture. She loved the 'having a crown' part of the bible :~) 'Si's favorite part was the no sleep/tired part and the happy parties! We all broke out in loud laughter whenever Josiah yelled out, "Man, 'Lijah a brat" (huge smile)

*** SHhHhhh please don't tell... I think I might bail out on camp douglas tonight (p.m.s) UgggGh!
I know T.M.I :~)

TGIF! Kay's home for the weekend

We woke up this morning and did laundry (forecast said sunny - not true) my clothes is still soggy on the lines.
Picked up Kake at 1:30 this afternoon.

She and Steve worked all afternoon putting up Christmas lights and decorations in the yard. Josiah napped and I sneaked in a tiny cat nap too :~)

We are enjoying a nice family evening. Kay & 'Si are in our bedroom, watching T.V

Steve is working on making me an indoor clothesline!!! so glad, warm DRY clothes :~)

Kay is already singing " Family- Fun- Friday Camp - out tonight"

So I guess it's camp out night again :)

My Thanksgiving day (we are back home now)

It is 7:45. My precious 'Si is fast asleep on the couch (he skipped nap time today). Daddy is out in the yard putting up Christmas lights (yes! in the dark - he's crazy like that). I just finished cleaning up the kitchen from my baking this morning.

My day started out nice. Steve took 'Si to the annual Church Turkey bowl. They were both dressed in grey sweats and their matching Raiders Jersey. This will probably be the last time 'Si gets to wear his. It is too small. We got it as a gift for his baby shower and he finally sorta fit into it at 1 yr. old and wore it last year too. I think next season it will not fit any more!

I stayed home . I enjoyed a nice long hot shower; worship playing in the background. I got out put on some comfies, dried my hair, read my bible, prayed, blogged and started my baking. I baked bananana nut bread and zuccini bread (missed my Kake). The house was so quiet. This is the first time 'Si has gone to the Turkey Bowl without me Such a treat!!!.

I was just starting the oatmeal chocolate nut cookies when Daddy & 'Si walked through the front door. Yes, you better believe 'Si washed up and hopped onto a chair to "help" me bake. Steve had jumped in the shower and I went into the kitchen to pull loaves out of the oven and whenI returned to the dining table. Josiah was covered in flour, the cookie batter was floating in melted butter and a fresh white glistening lump of sugar.
*Aaaaagh!!!* I tried to see what all he had added to the mix but there was no way of knowing what all was in there. - Oh well, we baked them any ways we ended up with OATMEAL CHOCOLATE CHIP NUT BISQUITS rather than oatmeal cookies. L.O.L!!!

Then I let HIM(all by himself) make peanut butter cookies (so wish we had at least a camera phone to show you all his YUMMY peanut butter cookies!! They were a hit!!!

I finished baking got dressed and went over to Ben & Minn's. We have a tradition of taking turns saying what we are thankful for. When it was Josiah's turn he was the first to mention 'Lijah. He said, "I- I - Um- I thankful for my 'lijah". WE ALL got choked up! I smiled at him and said," yeah baby me too, I'm thankful for 'Lijah too!"

I was doing good and then all of the sudden I started feeling anxious. I couldn't concentrate and I felt out of place. Steve & Josiah were outside with all the boys playing horse shoes. I felt as if I had nothing to say to mom, Cindy or my sisters. I was so uncomfortable. Steve & I drove to Parlier to the cemetery to take the wreath I had made.

We sat on the grass quietly, for a very long time. It started getting dark and very cold. The sky was beautifully grey and cloudy. I began to feel so tired. Like I finally let out a big sigh! We walked over to my grandparents grave and my uncles and aunt's as well (they are just a few rows away). We also went to Mr. Lincoln's grave (Ben's dad - Beth nicknamed him Lincoln) His grave is just across from 'Lijah's.

We went back to Ben's to pick up Josiah. Jonathan was there now. We were emotionally tired and ready to go home but we went in and visited for a bit. Cindy left and Christine was there too. Her hug was so warm and comforting.(sweet friend)!!

We packed up 'Si's things and my dishes plus a yummy take -home of all the left overs. We said our good-byes and called it a day!

It was a good day - difficult and emotional but GOOD! BLESSED! with Love, longing, Pain , Peace, Comfort, Strength &Hope!!!

Seasons

Ecclesiastes 3:1-8

1 To every thing there is a season, and a time for every purpose under the heaven:
2 a time to be born, and a time to die; a time to plant, and a time to pluck up that which is planted;
3 a time to kill, and a time to heal; a time to break down, and a time to build up; 4 a time to weep, and a time to laugh; a time to mourn, and a time to dance; 5 a time to cast away stones, and a time to gather stones together; a time to embrace, and a time to refrain from embracing;
6 a time to get, and a time to lose; a time to keep, and a time to cast away; 7 a time to rend, and a time to sew; a time to keep silence, and a time to speak;
8 a time to love, and a time to hate; a time of war, and a time of peace.

Today is a brand new day. A day that I CHOOSE TO delight myself in. TO think on the things which I have been blessed with. I am thankful because, In Psalms I read that " His mercies are new every day".

I cannot turn back the hands of time. We cannot stay in one season forever. Seasons change. & Everything has a time and a purpose.

I spent yesterday, mourning and grieving the fact that I miss Elijah terribly. At the end of the day I read the blog of : BABY JACOB(on my side bar). After spending the evening alone with Steve watching videos, pictures and remembering. I realized that It was time for me to stand up again!

I went to the Lord in prayer read my bible and was encouraged and reminded by the Holy Spirit, "THAT, everything has a season ans a purpose"

I had watched the video of Elijah's Funeral service. Pastor preached on living a life of purpose and fulfilling your purpose. Elijah did!

I need to see the season I am in and know that I have been chosen for this! The bible says, "I CAN DO ALL THINGS THROUGH CHRIST WHO STRENGTHENS ME"

I, have always known my God; intimately in EVERY season of my life!

WE are not saying we will not still have sad days and moments of weeping, but for today; "THIS IS THE DAY I CHOOSE TO SAY 'BLESSED BE YOUR NAME- YOU GIVE AND TAKE AWAY, MY HEART WILL CHOOSE TO SAY, BLESSED BE YOUR NAME"

Steve & I are so thankful that we have been blessed with very dear and treasured friends through this season of our lives. Our prayer is that in some way we can blog our lives in a manner which in some way might bless you!

I am thankful for my children. ALL of them. My precious beautiful daughter born, not to me but in my heart. My first born son and for 9 months plus 25and 1/2 hours with Elijah Nathaniel Douglas. I am thankful for the HOPE AND ASSURANCE of heaven and that 'sweet, sweet someday!'

Miss You 'Lijah, My heart misses you so deep, but My heart is also at peace. I am so happy to be your mommy. I miss your sweet face. I miss holding your precious little body in my arms; BUT most of all, 'Lijah I am very, very happy in my heart because I know I did my best for you. I read you the bible every day, since I knew you were inside of me. I sang worship songs to you. WE sang worship songs together when you were inside of me and when you were in my arms too! 'Lijah I remember talking to you and Josiah about heaven together. We still talk about heaven. Kay & 'Si think about you & what it must be like in heaven. I remember when you were leaving to your beautiful new mansion in heaven, I whispered in your ears that you would see beautiful streets of gold, rivers of crystal, foundations of precious stones, A tree of Life . MOST OF all I whispered in your ear that you were gonna love to be in the presence of GOD forever and ever. I whispered into your ear that WE would all be comming there too, someday. We can't hardley wait sweet boy, to be in the presence of GOD forever together.

See you soon swet boy!

Love you so so much,

Mommy

NOT TODAY

We brought home everything from the cemetery last Saturday because it was mowing day. Last night I made a beautiful lush fall foliage wreath with a huge gold bow.

This morning we went into Fowler (Marshall School) then to Parlier(cemetery & mom's house)

Steve asked if I wanted to go to the cemetery first or moms first. F.Y.I -It would make more sense to go to the cemetery first because we were coming from Adams Avenue. The cemetery is BEFORE mom's from Adams Ave.

I said, "mom's house." Steve was surprised. He drove right passed the cemetery and kept looking towards 'Lijah's spot. We got to mom's & I took the wreath in to show her. We stayed for lunch and then I said, "lets go home now". We packed up 'Si & buckled him. We sat quietly for a minute and Steve asked, "Are we gonna go?" "Ummmm... not today", I said. "okay"he said & we drove home.

I couldn't do it - I don't know why. I just couldn't do it... ~not today~
************************************************************************************
Yeah, it is a bit of a bum deal for Holiday Scheduling. For BOTH families. Mostly for my Kake though, she always feels like she is missing out. Steve is missing her alot today he keeps wondering what she is doing. I still haven't made that bread we were gonna make either. I will though, I have to - It is what I'm taking to Ben & Minn's for Thanksgiving.

Cindy's gonna go to Texas for Christmas. She came over last night. It was fun! we laughed and talked & laughed some more. I got the courage to tell her I was feeling panicky about her not being here for Christmas. (we will be okay :~)
She is also gonna miss Josiah's 3rd birthday on December 27th. IT will be a very small cake celebration at home I am sure!

My heart is some what heavy today, I want so much for Elijah to be with me for Thanksgiving. Last year at Thanksgiving I had just found out we were having a baby & I was so excited to be pregnant for the Holiday's KNOWING that by Holidays 2008 I would have a chubby 5 almost 6 month old to feed mashed potatoes to and we would be loaded down with walker, high chair, sippy cup. ~ not today~

Thanksgiving week

Well... we were mistaken on our holiday dates. Kayla will not be with us this year. We some how forgot that she was with us last year. We were very happy thinking & planning the week out and last night we realized it is her mommy's holiday.

This morning we made breakfast and then just hung out for a bit- before taking her back.

I was bummed out & I could tell Steve was too. Then, I remembered yesterday's sermon at church; about being thankful for what we DO have.

I heard Steve in Kay's room and could here him telling her, "he loved her and was so "thankful for her" I went in and they were cuddling on her bed together. She had a new blouse she had gotten for Thanksgiving day, we had her pack it in her bag & hope she will be able to wear it!

WE WILL GIVE THANKS FOR ALL WE HAVE BEEN GIVEN AND FOR THE BLESSING WE HAVE BEEN GIVEN WITH THE LIFE, BIRTH & DEATH OF ELIJAH
*we will be holding on to all the positive thoughts & prayers*
STEVE & I WOULD LIKE TO SAY; "WE ARE THANKFUL FOR YOU!!!"

WEEKEND! WEEKEND! WEEKEND!

Our sweetheart is home!!! We camped out at "Camp Douglas" again.
Today is Saturday and we woke up early to go serve at the Thanksgiving Feeding.
We got home and are getting ready for a birthday party for Samantha (Kayla's friend from church)

MORE LATER :)
A thought...
Economy Bad - GOD GOOD! - FAMILY GREAT - KAKIE HOME, DELIGHTFUL!!!

gotta go I have to munchinks to dress plus we are picking up Maddie & Julie too!
Josiah will be surrounded by girls! girls! girls! (whata guy)

Father Glorify Your Name

Steve is going through his grieving time. Yesterday, Josiah & I went over to moms. I am making bows, ribbons, clips and headbands to sell.(Praying no one snag that idea- I was gonna start selling b-fast & lunch burritos at the school I used to work at and some one beat me to it) We had a craft making day at moms & Josiah enjoyed cuddling with Moriah.

We came home in time for dinner and mom & Beth came over. Steve talked with mom a little bit. Mostly he was very quiet.

This morning I was dressing Josiah and we were saying out morning prayers. I had already spend a great part of early morning prayers, asking God for strength & courage. I prayed for others who need to know Jesus too. I prayed for the people who are worse off then us. Mostly I prayed for courage & strength for today.

Putting my brave foot forward, I told Josiah it was time for morning prayers.
"Oh Jesus please let my 'Lijah come back today", he said.

I was fighting back the tears and I explained, " 'Lijah can't come back bubba". "Why?" he asked.
"because he is with Jesus and he is waiting for us all to go see him in heaven". "we go right now, momma?" "no sweetheart, not today but soon, when Jesus blows the trumpet and he will come to take us all together, to live with ' Lijah" (MORE DISCUSSION TO HEART WRENCHING TO WRITE)... ...

I couldn't bare it any longer. Finally I was able to distract him!!
I set him up on the table with a bowl of cereal and ran to my desk! Wishing I had a good devotional - desperate for something uplifting to my soul. I went online searched devotionals - nothing. I looked up verses. My bible sitting right next to the computer and I thought, "Lord give me a word! My tears rolling down my face. Knowing full well that Steve too is crying in the room. We are both hurting for our pain, but also hurting because our little boy is missing his brother. Oh the stinging pain can sometimes be so overwhelming.

I grab my bible and begin flipping through the pages, desperately seeking COURAGE, STRENGTH, HOPE FOR TODAY, FAITH TO KEEP GOING.

I have lots of verses coming to my mind as I am flipping through the pages
2 Corinthians 12:9 Jesus said "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness."
2 Corinthians 4:8 Apostle Paul said " We are hard pressed on every side, but not crushed; persecuted, but not abandoned; struck down, but not destroyed.

John 12:27 Jesus is talking to the disciples before he is crucified "Now my heart is troubled, and what shall I say? 'Father, save me from this hour'? No, it is for this very reason I came to this hour. "Father, glorify your name!"

Jesus heart was also heavy, troubled. He was feeling the load upon his earthly body. He took comfort in The Father being glorified in that very time.

Steve & I have a troubled heart. But our Heavenly Father shall be glorified in this hour. Steve whispered into my ear on Feb. 13th "Blessed be The Name of The Lord, He gives and takes away. Our hearts will choose to bless His Name"

When we talked on the way home that night, holding each others hands tightly we said, "God has a reason and a divine plan".

Several times we have spoken saying, "We will bless your name! We Choose to trust your divine plan." The days have gotten harder at times and financial troubles have also played into this time. As I read His TRUTHS I must believe "Father, glorify your name". He will be glorified in this time.

Our hearts are troubled BUT I AM CERTAIN THAT "His divine plan will unfold in our lives and He will be glorified in our daily trials of missing Elijah and hurting for our Kay & 'Si missing their brother; Through our financial stresses. HE IS ON THE THRONE & WE WILL SERVE HIM AS BEST WE CAN SO THAT HE WILL BE GLORIFIED IN THIS TIME

Thank you all for your prayers... we are really needing them and being uplifted by them. Your comments have also uplifted my heart. We will continue on because of Christ in us.

I better get going I have house work, school time and then We go get our Kakie girl :)

STEVE

My sweetheart is very broken hearted. He is so sad, I don't know what to do! Well I do know that "our help comes from the Lord"

But outside of praying and keeping the faith - I don't know how to help him. He is missing Elijah so much, ever since Moriah was born & now even more because the Holiday's are comming.

He has been dreaming 'Lijah every night for the past week. Last night he said, he dram he was playing ball with the kids and 'Lijah was about 1yr. old and he was running in the front yard with his "smart boy bubble" & all!

P L E A S E *** P L E A S E *** P L E A S E*** say extra prayers for him & us RIGHT NOW!
Oh & he also lost his job (bad economy).

He is missing Kayla too & I tell him she will be home on Friday, but he is so sad. Yesturday, he started working on a tree house for her in the back yard.
JUST PRAY PLEASE! I need strength to carry him through this.

FOR ANY ONE WHO HAS POWER VERSES, I AM DESPERATE FOR THEM RIGHT NOW!!
I JUST NEED STRENGTH. Steve needs comfort , healing and compassion.

Moriah's 1st "Chongo" (Piggy Tail)

THIS PICTURE WAS TAKEN THIS MORNING!

SHE IS 4 WEEKS TOMORROW!