This is the ornament that was hanging on my tree which I put on my coat yesturday. It is a funny thing whenever people react in diferent ways and how sometimes they don't know what to say.
Phillipains 4:7-8 says to think on these things; things which are true, lovely, have virtue, praiseworhty and are of good report!!
ELIJAH was & IS AL THESE THINGS!! HIS life in my belly and his 25 hours and thrty minutes of breathing he did while in our arms IS JUST THAT ; EXCELLENT & TRUE, LOVELY, VIRTUOUS AND OF GOOD REPORT!!!!
I WISH PEOPLE IN MY CHURCH WERE BLOGGERS; so I wouldn't have to try to explain things and so they would JUST KNOW & NOT ACT OR SAY WHAT THEY DO sometimes. ( maybe they are anonymously) l.o.l
SO I walk into church and one of the very first people to greet us just stared at my 'lijah's picture as if I had walked in to church carrying a corps [no i am not exagerating] then I of course left my coat on for a while - not because it was cold but because I wanted EVERY ONE to see my 'lijah's picture!! [i don't think there was anything wrong with that] once I took off my coat I placed his picture on the center piece of our table.
as everyone was visiting eachothers tables[SOME] people would gasp when the saw his picture. One lady [very dear to my heart] even said, Oh! Oh! oh dear awww! and she was all panicky and she walked away from me as I was telling her how I had added wings to the ornament & I was trying to tell her that I put a newborn picture of K & J in one ornament too so all three of our childrens 'birthday' picture is hanging onour tree"
Since she walked away I guess I will tell you :)~!!!
Later on in the day I was approached by some one who said, " OH MARIE YOU JUST NEED HEALING" okay so maybe I am just very vulnerable and emotionally raw right now BUT That commetn really bugged me heres why! I am not mourning Elijah cause I don't know where he is at, or because I think I will never see him again. I AM JUST A MOM missing her beautiful boy, thats all!!! is it really inproper for me to carry his picture? NOW if I had walked in with a baby casket yeah maybe I could see poeple gasping or walking away from me! I was not carrying around leopracy! OKAY CALM DOWN GIRL!!! :)
On the other hand there were some people who were very sweet.
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NOW TO ANSWER A FEW QUESTIONS from emails I got last night and this morning. Sorry I can't get to reply to all of you who send private emails. I DO ENJOY THEM!!!! but I jsut cant reply to every ones questions one at a time :)
1 - Kayla was reading a poem with my niece Maddie.
Kayla has a BEAUTIFUL VOICE she can sing very well. She is a wonderful reader too!! She wants Pastor to teach her to play the guitar & the piano but he only does guitar & drums. we need to get her a keyboard first and then see about putting her in lessons somewhere.
2- My coat was a christmas gift from Steve 2 christmases ago- we were at a thrift store & I fell in love with it! HE bought it for me for the whopping price of $5.oo bucks
3- Josiah does play on the worship team. He is very musically inclined. we think he will also be a drummer. he has been given drum sticks by two different band drummers because they see him moving his wrists as if he has sticks in them and is playing. HE uses a guitar pic to play - NO HE DOES NOT REALLY know what he is doing as far as notes YET!
He enjoys attending practice but I think he is still too young to PUSH HIM TO do the whoel hur or so of practice. NO we have not put him in lessons yet. He loves to sing as well. No we do not MAKE HIM PRACTICE. it just comes natural. HE just enjoys playing instruments and we foster that passion he has. He is not in sports because we do not have the money right now but later yes we want him to play. He throws the foot ball very far and is a good catcher.
4 - Our church Pastor is not hispanic he is acctualy polynesian and some of the worship team is american indian. Our little church is very diverse.
Sadly - I think some people don't know what to say so they just don't say anything. Some people in the attempt to comfort say the absolutely wrong thing. And some people think they know everything and don't mind telling everyone. I personally can not imagine your roller coaster of feelings over the past year and you have shared so much on your blog but I don't think that is even the tip of the iceberg of your thoughts/feelings. I think your family has handled everything head on with dignity and grace and should be very proude of yourselves :0)
ReplyDeleteJen
I love diversity! When I moved here from PR, I so missed diversity! I moved from the city to a very small town here in Indiana. Keep encouraging your kiddos! Brad and Jordan both have naturally wonderful voices. If I would have seen you at church with your pretty pin, I would have hugged you! I do not think you crazy, obsessed, etc. I understand you longing for Elijah. This is so odd, but his little scrunched up face reminds me of our grandson, Will.
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